100 Self-Care Ideas To Improve Your Life After Abuse

Photo by Morgan Sessions on Unsplash

Walking away from an abusive relationship can be very challenging for a victim. Many decide to stay with their abusers because leaving seems like an impossible thing to do. Depending on how long the abuse has been going on, the victim’s confidence, self-love and positive outlook on life have either significantly decreased or completely vanished.

It takes mental, psychological and physical strength to finally break away from a life that is full of toxicity and unhappiness. Survivors who have made it to the finish line finally have a chance to rebuild their lives, however, they are left with scars that will remind them of their dark past probably forever. Some still live in fear, suffer from depression or might be in danger to return to their abuser.

This is why it’s important to practice self-care. There are many things one can do, but it helps to have a list on hand, especially on the days when life gets especially overwhelming, and when finding the light within all the darkness is a tough challenge.

So here are 100 things one can, and should, regularly do to take care of oneself, to heal one’s heart, and to help oneself stay on a path that leads to positive change and eventually, back to self-love.

1. Go for a walk in nature and take deep breaths
2. Meditate
3. Make sure you have enough sleep (at least 8 hours a day)
4. Draw to express your feelings (like doodles or coloring books)
5. Start a gratitude journal
6. Light up candles
7. Help out in an animal shelter
8. Go on a digital detox and shut off all technology for an hour a day
9. Take a bubble bath
10. Cuddle with your pet
11. Volunteer to help others in need
12. Unfollow negative people on social media
13. Distance yourself from toxic people in your life
14. It’s absolutely okay to so “No.” Practice it regularly
15. Buy high quality pajamas
16. Find a type of exercise you enjoy (for example yoga, pilates, swimming, zumba or kickboxing)
17. Drink soothing tea
18. Listen to calm and uplifting music
19. Buy fresh flowers
20. Tidy and declutter your desk or workspace
21. Watch a motivational TED talk
22. Plan a relaxing weekend trip
23. Join a support group
24. Put on a face mask
25. Get a manicure (yes, men can do this too)
26. Start a new hobby (photography, crafting, or gardening are great)
27. Create a bucket list and make a vision board and hang it on your wall
28. Take your vitamins
29. Plant a tree
30. Wear red lipstick for no reason
31. Write positive messages on sticky notes and put them on your mirror
32. Buy yourself an outfit that you feel super comfortable in
33. Try out a new recipe (if you don’t usually cook, start with something simple)
34. Go to the library and read
35. Chocolate is always allowed, so savor every bite of it
36. Give yourself a day off
37. Call a friend or loved one
38. Plan a pamper day (face masks, hair masks, candles, healthy snacks, no phone)
39. Watch the clouds and soak up the sun
40. Practice smiling in front of the mirror
41. Plan a daily morning routine that will get you excited to wake up
42. Take yourself out on a date
43. Declutter your closet and donate clothes
44. Plan a movie night
45. Make your bed
46. Give someone a compliment
47. Go to a concert
48. Buy yourself a venti beverage at Starbucks
49. Make a list of everything you enjoy doing and post it on your fridge
50. Practice breathing exercises
51. Reduce caffeine in your diet
52. Buy a canvas, brushes and colors and create a painting for your wall
53. Dance like nobody is watching
54. Allow for all your feelings to come out
55. Go to a museum
56. Bake a cake
57. Put together a puzzle
58. Rearrange your furniture
59. Try a new hairstyle
60. Go see a movie and buy yourself a big bag of popcorn
61. Learn a few sentences in a new language
62. Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day
63. Write about your anxiety
64. See a mental health professional
65. Have dinner with a close friend
66. Be a tourist in your own city and visit new places you haven’t seen yet
67. Forgive someone in your life
68. Watch your favorite movie from your childhood
69. Buy a few new decorative items for your room/ house
70. For every worst-case scenario you imagine, think of the best possible thing that could happen
71. Fill your social media with positivity by following inspirational or funny accounts (or as many dog/ cat/ fluffy animal accounts as possible)
72. Write a love letter to yourself
73. Imagine your dream life and make a list of steps you can take to get there
74. Challenge yourself to go a full day without a single complaint (then do it again and again and again)
75. Listen to a fun podcast
76. Go see a play or fun show. Treat yourself to awesome tickets
77. Give someone you love a long hug
78. Go for a bike ride
79. Make sure to eat fresh fruit every day
80. Go to bed early
81. Stop judging others and especially yourself
82. Go to your favorite coffee shop and enjoy an afternoon reading and writing
83. Take time to yourself away from others
84. Go star gazing
85. Buy a new pair of comfy slippers
86. Practice laughing every single day
87. Write a poem
88. Spend quality time with your kids and/or loved ones
89. Get rid of anything that will remind you of your abuser (block, delete and throw away)
90. Do not force yourself to do something you really don’t want to do
91. Take regular naps. No need to feel guilty about it
92. Buy something for yourself you’ve been eyeing for a while
93. Work on your friendships
94. Stop bad habits such as drinking or smoking (start small, but it will so be worth it in the end)
95. Regularly go to the doctor for a check up
96. Make your room/apartment/house as cozy as possible
97. Plan an evening of rest once a week. No to-do lists, no errands, no rushing
98. Create a daily skin-care routine, and a wellness routine for the weekends
99. Diffuse essential oils
100. Be kind to yourself and others. Always be kind.

There are many other things one can do, but this list is a start. The most important thing to remember is that self-care is not an option, it’s essential. When having cuts and bruises from an abusive relationship, whether they are internal or external, it’s hard to find a healthy balance in life again. These ideas are meant to bring whoever is struggling back to a life they love.

If you have ideas you’d like to share that weren’t on this list, feel free to drop them in a comment.