100 Self-Care Ideas To Improve Your Life After Abuse
Walking away from an abusive relationship can be very challenging for a victim. Many decide to stay with their abusers because leaving seems like an impossible thing to do. Depending on how long the abuse has been going on, the victim’s confidence, self-love and positive outlook on life have either significantly decreased or completely vanished.
It takes mental, psychological and physical strength to finally break away from a life that is full of toxicity and unhappiness. Survivors who have made it to the finish line finally have a chance to rebuild their lives, however, they are left with scars that will remind them of their dark past probably forever. Some still live in fear, suffer from depression or might be in danger to return to their abuser.
This is why it’s important to practice self-care. There are many things one can do, but it helps to have a list on hand, especially on the days when life gets especially overwhelming, and when finding the light within all the darkness is a tough challenge.
So here are 100 things one can, and should, regularly do to take care of oneself, to heal one’s heart, and to help oneself stay on a path that leads to positive change and eventually, back to self-love.
- Go for a walk in nature and take deep breaths
- Meditate
- Make sure you have enough sleep (at least 8 hours a day)
- Draw to express your feelings (like doodles or coloring books)
- Start a gratitude journal
- Light up candles
- Help out in an animal shelter
- Go on a digital detox and shut off all technology for an hour a day
- Take a bubble bath
- Cuddle with your pet
- Volunteer to help others in need
- Unfollow negative people on social media
- Distance yourself from toxic people in your life
- It’s absolutely okay to so “No.” Practice it regularly
- Buy high quality pajamas
- Find a type of exercise you enjoy (for example yoga, pilates, swimming, zumba or kickboxing)
- Drink soothing tea
- Listen to calm and uplifting music
- Buy fresh flowers
- Tidy and declutter your desk or workspace
- Watch a motivational TED talk
- Plan a relaxing weekend trip
- Join a support group
- Put on a face mask
- Get a manicure (yes, men can do this too)
- Start a new hobby (photography, crafting, or gardening are great)
- Create a bucket list and make a vision board and hang it on your wall
- Take your vitamins
- Plant a tree
- Wear red lipstick for no reason
- Write positive messages on sticky notes and put them on your mirror
- Buy yourself an outfit that you feel super comfortable in
- Try out a new recipe (if you don’t usually cook, start with something simple)
- Go to the library and read
- Chocolate is always allowed, so savor every bite of it
- Give yourself a day off
- Call a friend or loved one
- Plan a pamper day (face masks, hair masks, candles, healthy snacks, no phone)
- Watch the clouds and soak up the sun
- Practice smiling in front of the mirror
- Plan a daily morning routine that will get you excited to wake up
- Take yourself out on a date
- Declutter your closet and donate clothes
- Plan a movie night
- Make your bed
- Give someone a compliment
- Go to a concert
- Buy yourself a venti beverage at Starbucks
- Make a list of everything you enjoy doing and post it on your fridge
- Practice breathing exercises
- Reduce caffeine in your diet
- Buy a canvas, brushes and colors and create a painting for your wall
- Dance like nobody is watching
- Allow for all your feelings to come out
- Go to a museum
- Bake a cake
- Put together a puzzle
- Rearrange your furniture
- Try a new hairstyle
- Go see a movie and buy yourself a big bag of popcorn
- Learn a few sentences in a new language
- Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day
- Write about your anxiety
- See a mental health professional
- Have dinner with a close friend
- Be a tourist in your own city and visit new places you haven’t seen yet
- Forgive someone in your life
- Watch your favorite movie from your childhood
- Buy a few new decorative items for your room/ house
- For every worst-case scenario you imagine, think of the best possible thing that could happen
- Fill your social media with positivity by following inspirational or funny accounts (or as many dog/ cat/ fluffy animal accounts as possible)
- Write a love letter to yourself
- Imagine your dream life and make a list of steps you can take to get there
- Challenge yourself to go a full day without a single complaint (then do it again and again and again)
- Listen to a fun podcast
- Go see a play or fun show. Treat yourself to awesome tickets
- Give someone you love a long hug
- Go for a bike ride
- Make sure to eat fresh fruit every day
- Go to bed early
- Stop judging others and especially yourself
- Go to your favorite coffee shop and enjoy an afternoon reading and writing
- Take time to yourself away from others
- Go star gazing
- Buy a new pair of comfy slippers
- Practice laughing every single day
- Write a poem
- Spend quality time with your kids and/or loved ones
- Get rid of anything that will remind you of your abuser (block, delete and throw away)
- Do not force yourself to do something you really don’t want to do
- Take regular naps. No need to feel guilty about it
- Buy something for yourself you’ve been eyeing for a while
- Work on your friendships
- Stop bad habits such as drinking or smoking (start small, but it will so be worth it in the end)
- Regularly go to the doctor for a check up
- Make your room/apartment/house as cozy as possible
- Plan an evening of rest once a week. No to-do lists, no errands, no rushing
- Create a daily skin-care routine, and a wellness routine for the weekends
- Diffuse essential oils
- Be kind to yourself and others. Always be kind.
There are many other things one can do, but this list is a start. The most important thing to remember is that self-care is not an option, it’s essential. When having cuts and bruises from an abusive relationship, whether they are internal or external, it’s hard to find a healthy balance in life again. These ideas are meant to bring whoever is struggling back to a life they love.
If you have ideas you’d like to share that weren’t on this list, feel free to drop them in a comment.