Bad Day
Human Entertainment, Humour, contributed by special esteemed guest writer Pinnacle Splendour, whose work has appeared in The Daily Snot Rag, The Timbuktu Times, and Propaganda.
Having a whore’s breakfast of coffee and cigarettes, rinsing with whiskey, putting the whiskey in more coffee, foregoing the coffee and just drinking the whiskey, googling when the off-licence opens, googling if 3pm is too early to buy hard liqueur, buying it anyway, drinking it out of the bottle because cleaning a glass is effort, falling asleep at 6:42pm on the bed in ex-girlfriend's room while sniffing her sheets to ascertain her make of perfume so as to buy it as a conciliatory gift, being woken up at an unknown time as ex-girlfriend and new suitor enter the room too busy sucking face to see you and eventually being woken up by that familiar sound…confusion ensuing that would be hilarious if it was anyone else, getting the crap beaten out of by ex-girlfriend's suitor before ex-girlfriend intervenes with flailing noodle arms, all of a sudden leaning against a mortar wall outside lighting a cigarette butt retrieved on ground, lighting it with last safety match, a drop of blood from nose dribbles onto butt and puts the sucker out. Collapsing in a heap.