Role Confusion

& not getting caught up in distractions

there’s little to indicate progress
while familiarity makes me fear regression

I’m trying to reframe
to use my tetris skills for good
to move and meld and mix
before I bend so much I break

on this voyage for truth I’ve come face to face with mount rushmore sized lies
stories so far fetched I could have only harnessed them from neptune
and though I’ve phrased it in a thousand incremental ways to date
I’m starting to think I’ve been in love with my character’s role

Like an actress falling so in love with her part she tricks herself
she lives in the play when no one is looking
the character crosses over and lives undercover in her skin

I fell so in love with her importance
how critical she was to the story
an extra confusing herself for the lead
I’ve been living in the wrong plot line

I am not irrelevant in every story
and even in the one I am loathe to let go of, I played a role
just not the lead
there are no small parts

The byproduct of this double agency is the neglect to my cast
By treating my story as filler
the years that fill the time between minutes and hours
I demean it,
Recasting myself as a selfish villain