BTG: Prayer — or not
When Ben originally picked topics and asked me to write on this one, I was so excited! I love prayer — I love the intimacy with God, I absolutely love listening when I pray and hearing back from Him, I love praying for people who I love and sharing in Him together, I love praying for strangers and watching God work, I love thanking Him… I could go on and on but you get the point. Prayer is relational, and what’s so awesome is we get to be relational with our Father in Heaven anytime, anywhere, always and He’s with us. There’s so many directions I want to take this and write about!!! However…
That’s not where I’ve been at lately, and that’s not where I feel like Gods asking me to write. What about those times when we run from God? What about those times when we chose not to pray, purposefully or unintentionally? What about when we are hurt, angry, or upset with God about what’s going on in our worlds, our friends and family, and in our greater communities or church’s?
To answer these types of questions I turn to David in the psalms. David is a friend of mine! He is an emotional guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. He’s also known as “a man after Gods own heart”. I believe this is true because David not only praises God as he extends his thankfulness towards Him continually, but David cries out to God in his despair, his loneliness, his hurt, anger, and confusion through all seasons. As David walks through a rollercoaster life, one we can all relate to, he talks to God continually relating with him. Take a look at psalm 13 with me…
“Lord, how long will You forget me? Forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long will I store up anxious concerns within me, agony in my mind every day? How long will my enemy dominate me?”
Psalms 13:1–2 HCSB
David starts by calling out to the Lord in desperation, in loneliness, in hurt…. haven’t we all been there? I know, after having 4 children in the last 6 years, I have felt lost and out of control… wondering what God has done… not only in my own life but as I watch evil happen around us and wonder why God is having us raise children who will have to endure the cruelty of this life. I’ve cried to God in anger much like David… I’ve gone into prayer after bouts of holding onto these thoughts and attempting to walk with Him while being plagued by such sadness and hurt until it overflows… how long God?
The next verse gets me…
“Consider me and answer, Lord my God. Restore brightness to my eyes; otherwise, I will sleep in death.”
Psalms 13:3 HCSB
Restore brightness to my eyes… another version says “enlighten my eyes”… David felt as if God had turned His back on him, so he asked the Lord to turn around and look at him. David felt like God had stopped talking to him. This Hebrew word literally means “answer.” David was asking the Lord to let Him hear His voice again, just as he had in the old days; he wanted God to answer him. Applying that to today, this is when we can take God’s Word and say, “Open Your Word to my heart again. Let me cling to Your Truth. Help my unbelief!”
And then…
“My enemy will say, “I have triumphed over him,” and my foes will rejoice because I am shaken. But I have trusted in Your faithful love; my heart will rejoice in Your deliverance. I will sing to the Lord because He has treated me generously.”
Psalms 13:4–6 HCSB
Oh this ending brings me to tears. David begins in despair… But suddenly he stops, lifts up his chin, looks up toward heaven, and says, “Lord, consider me; answer me; enlighten me!” And in that moment God gives David the presence, power, and awareness he needed to sing praises to the Lord! Oh how crying out in truth can allow the Holy Spirit to change our hearts in an instant. Dark times merely surfaced the reality deep down in David’s soul and allowed Him to reconnect with God.
I can’t say I’ve always been brought around to see Gods face in an instant, after running from him, and ending up in honest and true prayer of the depths of my heart… but God has always turned His face towards me and brought me back to His light… sometimes step by step….and sometimes in a flow of such love it’s undeniable in a single moment. However prayer is a tool in which we have free and constant communication with God to bring our sight back to alignment with His. It’s a precious gift with a friend, a fathers love, a merciful guide, and the sovereign powerful God of the universe all at the same time. It’s how we regain our strength in faith to believe the Word put forth to us.
My suggestion and hope in prayer for all of us is to not hold back, to trust His love, and let our whole hearts out to Him… in good and bad… and let Him change us as we walk out the power of prayer.
A BTG wifey moment <3
