Stop Complaining: It’s Actually Bad For You

It’s a common belief that ‘getting things of your chest’ is the best thing to do when you need to vent. But that’s not entirely true. Depending on how you deal with your complaints, your ‘venting’ could actually be doing more harm than good.

Jeffrey Lohr, a psychology professor at the University of Arkansas, investigated the effects of venting in his 2007 study: “The Pseudo Psychology of Venting in the Treatment of Anger: Implications and Alternatives for Mental Health Practice” which was published in the Scientific Review of Mental Health.

In this study, Lohr discovered that there was little scientific support for any benefits associated with venting, and noted that this manner of complaining ‘directly challenges the integrity of mental health practice and places the public at risk’. According to Lohr; ‘venting anger is an emotional expression. It’s similar to emotional farting in a closed area. It sounds like a good idea, but it’s dead wrong.’

Aside from this study, further research has proven that your thoughts can literally reshape your brain. This means that if you find yourself stuck in a spiral of negativity, it’s going to have a serious impact on your overall health and well-being. The negativity associated with complaining is proven to increase your cortisol levels, which can be responsible for a number of health issues such as high blood pressure, weight gain, and a weakened immune system.

Steve Parton of Psych Pedia explains this in-depth in a recent article;

“Throughout your brain there is a collection of synapses separated by empty space called the synaptic cleft. Whenever you have a thought, one synapse shoots a chemical across the cleft to another synapse, thus building a bridge over which an electric signal can cross, carrying along its charge the relevant information you’re thinking about. It’s very similar to how nerves carry electrical impulses from the sensation in your toe all the way up to your brain where it’s actually ‘felt’.

[…] Every time this electrical charge is triggered, the synapses grow closer together in order to decrease the distance the electrical charge has to cross…. The brain is rewiring its own circuitry, physically changing itself, to make it easier and more likely that the proper synapses will share the chemical link and thus spark together — in essence, making it easier for the thought to trigger.”

So, to sum that up; every time you have a negative thought, you pave the way for another negative thought. And another one. And another one. Which is why complaining is so bad for you if you don’t do it in a constructive and positive fashion.

How To Complain Effectively

Every time you complain about something, you should have a positive outcome in mind. Otherwise, you’re simply using it as an opportunity to vent your anger — which will stress you out even more. By learning how to complain effectively, you can ensure that you find a solution to the problem without increasing your frustration in the process.

Here are a few tips for mastering the art of complaining;

Work out your purpose: Why are you complaining? What outcome do you want to achieve? You should never complain about anything, to anyone, unless you know exactly what you want to achieve from it. After all, if you don’t know what resolution will make you happy — how will you ever be happy with the resolution you get?

Make a positivity sandwich: If you’ve ever given or been on the receiving end of ‘constructive criticism’, then you know how a positive sandwich works. You start with some positive lingo, introduce the issue at hand, and then end the conversation with another injection of positivity to lighten the mood. The overall goal is to change the conversation from an accusation to a request for assistance to solve the problem. However, it doesn’t always work so well if the participant knows they’re being sandwiched — so, watch out for that one!

Don’t hold a grudge: Once you’ve complained about something properly, you have to learn to let it go — even if the resolution doesn’t meet your expectations. Complaining about something again and again will have a terrible knock-on effect on your mental and physical well-being and it’ll simply reinforce those negative thoughts floating around in your brain. Just let it go.

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