3 conspiracy theories you didn’t know existed

I have a new favorite hobby — a guilty pleasure I suppose. It’s browsing conspiracy forums.

I started writing a short bio about Lyndon LaRouche and it took me places.

Conspiracy theories are juicy, scandalous, insane. I get wrapped up in their story and start acting like my grandma who watches WAY too much news. You know the type.

I personally don’t take any of the theories to heart. It’s like people who enjoy scary movies — they watch purely for the feeling of being scared and to be entertained. Best of all for an avid fan like me, there’s a new conspiracy most everyday waiting for me to sink my teeth into.

Lyndon LaRouche is a bonafide conspiracy theorist. He’s had beef with the British (serious beef), the Bush’s, and the banking clan.

His 3 best:

1. WHY THE BRITISH ASSASSINATE U.S. PRESIDENTS

On April 14, 1865, John Wilkes Booth pulled a gun on an unsuspecting man, aimed and mortally wounded President Abraham Lincoln. Years later, Lincoln’s private secretaries wrote about Booth’s travels to British Colombia and a tangled web that put top English financiers (including Teddy Roosevelt’s uncle) at the heart of the plot and eventual death of the 16th president.

The theory summarizes that the English financiers work to end the lives of presidents who aren’t amiable to the British aristocratic inner circle. LaRouche theorizes Presidents Lincoln, McKinley, Kennedy, and Garfield were all plots acted out by this clandestine banking clan.

*EDITOR’S NOTE: LaRouche long expected an assassination attempt from this group on President Obama.

2. QUEEN ELIZABETH II IS A DRUG PUSHER

In an interview with the British Broadcasting Corporation in 1980 LaRouche stated “Of course she’s [the Queen] pushing drugs.”

LaRouche’s theory is a watered down version of a Nazi propaganda piece called War War War! In World War II, LaRouche claims that the English government and Royal family were bought by powerful “English high finance” which include several Jewish individuals (The Nazi version went more like “Jews buying Churchill with piles of gold”) as a means of protection from the Germans. A lucrative relationship was formed, and the Royal family’s top priority has been the British-Judaism banking clan’s best interests ever since.

In the mid-19th century, the British stuck their noses in the Opium Wars trying to make a quick buck with the west having just discovered the substance. LaRouche claims the British Royal Family never got out of the illegal drug business, and now — with the restored financial strength from the banking clan — is a top player in the drug market.

This led to LaRouche’s quote in the BBC interview in 1980.

3. THE WORLD WILDLIFE FUND COMMITTED THE RWANDAN GENOCIDE

By now, you may come to realize LaRouche is quite the anti-semite, anti-nonwhite, and anti-rational thought kind of guy who doesn’t look fondly on a number of things. Let’s add the World Wildlife Fund (WWF) to that list.

Before you get your hopes up that the British are finally not the bad guys…it also involves the British.

How the British are involved: In the early 1970s, the Royal family — namely Prince Phillip — created The 1001: A Nature Trust that managed a portion of WWF’s administration and fundraising giving him access to a good portion of WWF’s operational work. Prince Phillip would later become president of WWF where he solidified the organizations role as a front for the Royal families’ alleged activities.

LaRouche claims the World Wildlife Fund has used it’s clout as an environmental protection agency to commit deadly acts and to support terrorism (mainly Al Qaeda).

The most diabolical of acts committed by the WWF is the Rwanda Genocide. The claim is that the soldiers who perpetrated the acts were trained by British special forces “in camps set up under the guise of WWF gorilla-protection programmes.” The reason the Royal family would want something like this to happen is murky. Some LaRouche supporters claim it was in order to protect some aspect of the Rwandan jungle ecosystem. Others believe the Royal family is pledged to ethnic purity.

Well wasn’t that fun? If you think you’d be into wacky conspiracy theories I highly recommend the forum route — keeps your nose clean, but gives you a good laugh.