When are you an adult?

When you’re 18
When you can cook a meal that’s not macaroni and cheese
When you sign a lease
When you buy a house
When you buy real furniture
When you give someone else money to buy your booze (because you can’t legally drink)
When you realize that maybe those drunk pictures shouldn’t be on Facebook
Your 21st birthday
When you stop asking your parents for money
Your first legal drink in a restaurant
When you pay your first bill
When you have sex
When you buy a car
When you forgive someone
When you have a baby
When you realize your parents are trying to figure it out, just like you
When you throw a dinner party
Your first traffic ticket
When you write a thank you note
When you go to the funeral of a friend’s parent
When you child graduates from preschool
When your friends are all getting married, but you’re not
When your friends are all having babies, but you’re not
When you take your first foreign trip
When your parents sell the house you grew up in
When you have to put a parent in the nursing home
When you child graduates from high school
When you realize you’re raising future adults
When your child says they hate you
Discussing literature with other “grown ups”
When there are children at all of your get-togethers with your friends
When your parties end before 10 PM (because of the aforementioned children)
When your children put you in the nursing home