Do you also check your phone when you feel you don’t fit in?
When in social events, some of us tend to reach out to our phones as a cry of help because we feel we are not in the right environment or with the right people. In other words, we feel that we don’t belong.
Why the phone though?
Here is a short reason why:
In our phones we store images that interest us, we have our social media where we follow our favourite pages and people. We feel inspired by the content that we save there. As we identify with it, we feel that we are part of it somehow. It’s part of our extended self. So in situations when we feel left out, our phones are our heroes as we built a world there specifically for us.
Now, let me ask you:
If you feel that you don’t belong there, why did you go in the first place? Or, what is preventing you from leaving?
Some of us are really scared of saying “no”. We feel that we need to be part of most of the social events we are invited to. Otherwise, we are boring, we don’t care about the people there or worst, we feel that if we don’t go we will be alone forever.
It’s OK to say “no”. We all have different interests and a distinctive social battery. Some of us are introverts and others are extroverts. Some of us are even somewhere in between. So it’s absolutely OK to be into different things.
Before getting to know other people, we really need to get to know ourselves. If you consider yourself as a quiet person, go for a coffee with a small group of friends, go to the cinema, have dinner together. Go to places where you feel you can be you.
What if I have friends that are extroverts and like to go out a lot? Well, be honest. Say how you feel about going to those events and invite them for lunch instead. Go run together. Go to the gym. Find what you both have in common! That’s how you connect with people.
When you have room to be you. You are happier, lighter and proud of who you are. People will get interested in getting to know you better because you are showing the real you and not the version you momentarily create and don’t feel comfortable with.
People sense energies, so if you’re pretending to be someone else to impress them they will likely notice it.
If you would like to go out more to places you enjoy going to and meet people that share your interests, join the Buddoop community. We are a social platform that helps you meet new people that share your interests by creating and joining events.
To know more about us, be up to date with what we are working on and enjoy some humour, follow us on our social media: Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.
Given the global pandemic and your safety, we are delaying the launch of our social network. In the meantime, sign up for our beta waiting list to get early access at www.buddoop.com.
We can’t wait to meet you!
