I can see clearly now the rain is gone…

Image from Pexels

I have to be honest.

I am reflecting on my results from the Career Self Efficacy and Digital Capability Survey several months after completing it.

However, this is actually a good thing, and I’ll tell you why.

The survey was in two sections. The first assessed my confidence in creating goals and plans towards my career aspirations, finding information related to those careers, and my ability to articulate my experiences so far. The second measured my current digital skill level and my confidence in applying to roles requiring digital skills.

The digital struggle is real — image from Pexel

My score for the Digital Capacity section did not surprise me. It was below average (though not alarmingly so), because:

a) I had no interest in working for a digital organisation, nor for applying to digital roles within other organisations

and

b) It is true that my digital skills are lacking, though not as much as I would have reported when completing this quiz.

This is because when I originally completed this survey, I was depressed. My Self Efficacy in any area of life was rock bottom, so my scores reflected the strange average of my negative biases and a glimpse of confidence that when I felt better, I was absolutely capable of one day pursuing a career.

But we like blaming others, don’t we?

I felt too overwhelmed to consider a career — image from Unsplash

I blamed the university for not providing specific enough career information, based on one visit to a career adviser, who, I see now, only gave the seemingly vague advice they did because I was not clear in what I wanted help with. In fact, any advice I received at the time was negatively filtered and dismissed as generic, because I did not see that actually, my questions were unclear and my attitude pessimistic.

I was able to recognise skills I had developed when looking at my past experiences, exhibited on my CV, in an abstract, impersonal way, but any consideration of the future was blurred by tears or blocked entirely by hopelessness.

Months later, I am pleased to say that I no longer feel that way. In fact, I am very happy.

So what have I learned about career goals with this new perspective? What can I see now that I couldn’t then?

I see that my career is my responsibility and my personal adventure. I have to put the work in to long job applications, to adapting my CV for each role, to seeking and committing to experiences to boost my character development (and my CV!), but it is also me who will reap the benefits.

I see that in order to receive useful advice, I need to bring ideas and specific questions about those ideas to the discussion — and recognise that people actually want to help me. Asking for guidance is a positive experience when you have identified what you are really stuck on.

My ambition + professional guidance = success (image from Pexel)

I see that my confidence in my career decisions still fluctuates … a LOT, and that is OK! It is sometimes necessary to walk a few steps down the wrong path to recognise the right path. Plus, any experience is positive when you learn from it.

I see that I have taken more steps towards choosing a career path than I realised, and usually it has been when I am feeling good and doing things purely out of genuine interest! (see the next blog for details)

Image from Unsplash

Reviewing my CV again and reflecting on which experiences I enjoyed and which I did not, has helped me to identify some values that are important to me. As a result, my career path seems tidier and less foggy, though the destination is still not entirely clear.

Seeing myself almost as another person, I wrote a paragraph about the impression my CV currently gives of me and reflected on whether that’s who I want to be now.

The core is essentially the same and always has been — to help those who feel helpless in reaching their full potential.

There are gaps and details which are still somewhat messy, but because I can see that now, I can change it.

So, if you are struggling, don’t worry that you should have more career ambition than you currently do! Instead, focus on exploring and doing things you enjoy. Not only will you heal and feel better, you will discover experiences you actually want to add to add to your story, your CV and job applications, because they will show the progress of your ever-clearer career ambitions and more importantly — your personal development.

I don’t know exactly what that entails for me or where I’m going career-wise, but unlike when taking that survey for the first time, I know I’m excited for the journey.

The future is as bright as your faith — image from Unsplash