Expecting paid parental leave: When you’re a father and ineligible for time off
As a new dad, Thomas Stoppini, a social studies teacher in Brooklyn, was not eligible for parental leave after the birth of his daughter. He had to return to the classroom instead of being able to care for his wife, their newborn and their severely disabled 8-year-old son.
Franca, his wife, gave birth to their daughter, Julianna, by Caesarian section and was under strict orders not to lift anything heavy, including their older son, T.J.
“He has a rare genetic disorder. It’s called Allan-Herndon-Dudley syndrome. Basically. he needs 24 hour care. He can’t walk or talk,” said Thomas, whose morning routine means brushing his son’s teeth, changing his diaper, giving him breakfast and his medicine, changing his clothes and lifting him into his wheelchair.
His wife couldn’t do any of that after Julianna was born, yet with a growing family Thomas could not afford to go off payroll to stay home to help. The city’s Department of Education officially allows male teachers like Thomas to use only three personal days for something like the birth of a child.
Luckily, Thomas’ mother and mother-in-law were able to take turns staying at their home over the initial six weeks Franca recuperated.
“We had that support. I can’t even imagine what would have happened if we didn’t. But other families might not be so lucky. It would be great to have maternity and paternity leave,” Thomas said. “There is a big difference between wondering if I will be there to help my wife at moments like this, and yes, I know I will be there.”
It is time, Mayor de Blasio, to provide paid parental leave — which covers dads and adoptive and foster parents in addition to mothers — to United Federation of Teachers members and city workers.
