3 Reasons Why You Are Scared to Say What You Think
Wouldn’t it be easier if we could openly say what we think and get a truthful answer in return?
I’m not a secretive person, if I speak I may as well tell you everything that is happening in my life or head. This is if I speak but I mostly don’t as from time to time I choose to keep my thoughts to myself.
Sometimes I don’t share my thoughts or feelings thinking that it should be obvious. It’s obvious to me because I’m feeling or thinking this, but often it’s not visible from the outside. Unconsciously, I expect my friends to guess it.
This is a definite step in the direction of misunderstanding.
No one likes misunderstandings, except for comic ones, and there are three basic reasons you and me keep falling into them.
1) Survival Instinct
You don’t say to your boss everything that you think because you want to keep your job. The same about the colleagues, you want to keep friendly relationships and this is understandable. But it goes beyond.
When you share something personal whether an opinion or a story, you have this words on the back of your mind, the Miranda warning:
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you…
Or as the World War II propaganda posters say:
This stops you from sharing your political views in a new social group. From sharing a personal experience in a blog post. From saying to your partner that these jeans are too tight for her.
This transfers to the next reason.
2) Low Expectation from the World
You think that people are against you by default.
If you share positive news, they’ll envy you. If you share a negative experience, they’ll say it’s your fault and point out what you did wrong.
The thing is, there always are two sides of a coin. When you choose to open up and share with the world, wonderful things may happen. In the first case, people will be glad to receive the positive energy from you and associate you with a happy and successful person. This may lead to all kinds of unexpected outcomes. New opportunities, new teams and connections.
In the second case, when you share an unfortunate experience, the most likely they’ll sympathise, and sometimes it’s all you need to feel better. Others may give you some advice and solutions to the issue.
The more you share the more perspectives you get.
3) Low Self-Esteem
I’m not as self-confident as I’d like to be, also I’m not sure what the correct level of self-confidence is so that I don’t become a snob, and that’s another topic. Oftentimes I don’t speak about the things that concern me because I think it’s of no value to anyone.
You think that your achievement is insignificant to pay attention to.
You think your weakness is so unique to you that you have to fight it alone and never show it to the world.
In reality, once you share your wins or failures, you notice that it’s valuable to people. Some may learn from it, some may be inspired by it. As a result, you not only help others to gain something but also you feel supported and surrounded by like-minded people.
Say or not to say
Next time you choose, have in mind that your deed may bring an exciting opportunity which you couldn’t even imagine before.
The opportunities are endless and to see them you need to show yourself and bring yourself into the world.
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