Creative Life
15 Reasons to Put Off Your Creative Dreams Just a Little Longer
[Spoiler alert: A couple are legit but most are just excuses.] Do any of these look familiar to you?
You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place. The Waiting Place…
— Dr. Seuss, Oh the Places You’ll Go!
Not so long ago, I was suffering from what I call the “puppy blues.” I was feeling overwhelmed with frustration, devastation, and even regret due to my then circumstances, which were this:
My family, like so many others, during the initial pandemic lockdown had decided to get a dog — or, more specifically, a puppy.
Between the time of deciding to get said dog and actually bringing our newest family member home, almost six months passed. And during that time, other changes occurred in my life, specifically as it related to my work schedule and the opportunity to finally dedicate meaningful time to my novel in progress (which I’d also recently made a long sought-after breakthrough in terms of the novel’s structure).
Just when my life finally seemed “ready” for me to dig in and make my writing dreams happen, we brought home Walnut, thus setting off my subsequent puppy blues.
(Symptoms include: sleep deprivation, mental exhaustion dealing with behavioral issues, and extreme loss of time.)
Lo and behold, my big plans to focus on my novel were once again put on hold.
While experiencing negative emotions in direct response to the circumstances resulting from our new puppy, I also began thinking about how many other times I’d seen the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, only to have it wrenched away at the last moment.
Sometimes, these moments have been out of my hands (yes, I’m talking about you, pandemic) whereas other times I can’t help but feel like there’s an element of self-sabotage as well. While I didn’t have control over our puppy’s timing of arrival, I certainly could have given it greater consideration, in terms of the likely impact his arrival would have on our quality of life and “extra” time.
Often, my mindset is that if I had more time, I would do A, B, and C (never ‘or’) only to have circumstances change just when that time finally seems within my reach. But I have to ask, isn’t it sometimes my own doing? And what really is the difference between self-sabotage, making excuses and just, well, living life?
Without further ado…
Here are 15 Tried and True Reasons to Put Off Your Creative Dreams Just a Little Bit Longer :
1 — Your job.
That thing you do to pay the bills. Deadlines. Long hours. The truth is that as humans it is natural to prioritize other people (or organization’s) needs, especially when you are being paid to do just that. Fine if it happens here or there, but when it becomes a habit, it might be worth asking yourself what do you really want.
2 — Financial.
Similar to #1, this is where you constantly prioritize “financial stability” over doing things that have little chance of making any money. For example, you can write an article on Medium that has the potential to earn some extra cash, or you can write a short story which is almost guaranteed to earn you nothing. (Then, again, you could publish it on Medium.)
3 — New baby.
Okay, so this is a real thing. Babies have needs and can suck up your time (not to mention all your physical and mental energy) like nobody’s business. Before having my first baby, I thought I would write a draft of my novel during maternity leave. Obviously, that didn’t happen. Babies also sleep (a lot) and if you set your expectations low (10 minutes a day) it’s actually possible to make progress in the cracks of the day. (No guarantee, however, that your sleep deprived brain will create anything of quality.)
4 — New puppy.
Similar to a new baby but not actually a new baby, these little home wreckers can actually be put in a crate for a minute or two, if you need to buy yourself a moment of sanity. The trick here is realizing that with pets, there is a line between caring for them and letting them run the show entirely. And while I can’t say that I’ve totally figured this one out, I have at least come to realize that life must go on. Eventually.
5 — Permission (as in, no one has given it).
As a self-identifying Feminist, I am a little bit embarrassed by this one. Alas, it is true that the voice in my head has more than occasionally been a detractor in my dreams of writing and publishing fiction. Specifically, it’s the needling question, “Who do you think you are?” that can really derail my efforts, causing me to doubt my authority as a writer. The funny thing is that, really, the only person who can legitimately give you permission to go after your dreams is you.
6 — Invitation (as in, no one has extended it).
Like permission, but different, this one sets the expectation that in order to follow your dreams, there must be a ready and waiting audience. Funnily enough, if your dream is to create something (like mine), then you are setting out to build something that doesn’t already exist. Who exactly is this person (or persons) that is supposed to extend an invitation to create the thing that only you can currently envision?
7 — Readiness.
Call it perfectionism. Call is analysis paralysis. To steal a term from one of my favorite writers on creative process (aka Steven Pressfield) this is resistance in one of its finer forms. As any working artist or entrepreneur will tell you, there’s really no such thing as being ready. The main thing is to just begin and figure it out along the way! (I’ll be kettle, you be pot.)
8 — Time (as in, there’s not enough of it).
We live in a culture of busyness, so yeah, there’s really never enough time. But I bet there’s enough time to watch the latest season of Ted Lasso or Stranger Things. I bet, you — like me — find ample time to screw around on social media. Or maybe the lure of the bed in the morning prevents you from getting up early to focus on your creative work. Here’s what I’ve learned most recently: In just ten minutes a day, I can get a lot of words on the page. And really, who doesn’t have ten minutes to at least get started?
9 — OPP (as in, other people’s priorities).
As a wife, mother, consultant, daughter, dog owner, etc. etc. I know what it is like to have other people’s (or pet’s) priorities come first. And, in all seriousness, it’s a very convenient excuse to play the martyr as reason for not making progress or giving meaningful time and attention to your creative work. And, yes, sometimes there are real situations (e.g. sick child) that must take precedent. But generally speaking, your loved ones are going to want you to be the best version of yourself and they really don’t want to be your excuse for not going after your dreams.
10 — Motivation (or lack thereof).
Let’s face it, motivation is a beast — especially when it goes MIA. Given the many excuses not to go after your creative dreams, it’s a miracle when motivation shows up at all. What I have found to be true more often than not is that you have to, first, show up and, then, hang out a bit. Think of motivation as that shy kid who lurks in the background and needs a safe opening to join in the fun. Eventually, they come around but sometimes it takes a lot of patience and coaxing.
11 — Current events.
This one’s tough. There are times (recently…now) when the world is struggling in a big way. People are dying. Wildfires are raging. And people’s rights are being stripped with all the world to see. And it’s really easy, in those moments, to second guess the “importance” of your creative aspirations, especially if, like mine, they are ultimately intended to be fun and entertaining. Take a break, if you need one. But what I’ve learned in my 40-plus years on this planet is that the heart wants what the heart wants, and sometimes the world needs some easy entertainment. Get after it.
12 — Plan B and other “easier” opportunities.
Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. Boy am I guilty of this one! I have a laundry list of adulting decisions I’ve made that really just come down to picking the perceived “easier” solution. Listen, choosing your passion over what might be practical is a lesson in vulnerability and faith in itself. If you never try, then you’ll never fail and your dreams will always be an option for the future, one day.
13 — Guilt.
Guilt is a cousin of OPP. It can be very difficult to put yourself first, especially when there are other (little) people relying on you and in need of your attention. Sometimes, it’s not even little people. If you’re a people pleaser (like me) it can be a real challenge to not only set boundaries but to also not feel badly about maintaining them. I’d like to think this gets better with experience… I’ll keep you posted.
14— Grief.
Oof. Grief is so hard, and we all go through it differently. And if you’ve experienced it multiple times in your life (as I have) you know that it doesn’t always show up the same way. Be kind to yourself. Go easy. If your creative work serves you during this time, embrace it. And, if not, take a pause. You can always come back to it when you’re ready.
15 — Netflix.
Need I say more?
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