BTS came just at the right time
I heard of BTS through word of mouth via the Internet. In 2015, I first came across BTS’ “Dope” music video through FBE reacts to Kpop videos. I didn’t know much about them, so I considered myself a casual fan. I was more curious about how the public perceived Kpop as I was curious myself as a Korean American. I’ve continued to watch BTS under the FBE reacts to Kpop videos for two years after that. In 2017, my university friends invited me to watch BBMAs, my first American award show. I did not grow up watching American award shows. While I was watching the show, I was startled to see BTS there. I expected Americans on the show, so seeing Koreans was unprecedented for me. Fast forward to the Top Social Artist Winner announcement, my questions of why BTS was there was answered. One of the members gave a speech and said, “Please, ARMY, remember what we say, love myself.” This line made me curious about the relationship between BTS and ARMY.
A few days later, I came across two songs: Whalien 52 and Tomorrow. For the first time in years, I cried while listening to these songs. Whalien 52 encapsulated my feelings of loneliness, as I was confused about myself as a person during university. I felt lonely in my struggles at that time and saw myself as the only 52 hertz whale in the world. The story of the lonely whale alone in the vast sea felt like me staring at the cold, unwelcoming world called reality. Tomorrow resonated with me the moment BTS sings “same day, same month/ 24/7 every moment repeats every time.” The monotonous routine of university life felt empty and hollow. I was just going to university classes in order to feel something, but that feeling of anticipation was dry every time a powerpoint was pulled up and pencils were pulled out. Tomorrow gave me hope not to give up and continue no matter how dull and hollow everything felt.
Ever since discovering BTS, my life no longer rang as hollow it once was. Tomorrow gave me hope with its lyrics as they sing Wherever you’re standing right now, you’re taking a short break/ Don’t give up, you know. They pushed me to continue my studies at university; however, I changed concentrations from medical science to art history. It was a struggle to adjust to this switch. However, I felt more fulfilled studying at university and began to enjoy more of my time there. I began to explore outside of my comfort zone, such as diving into cultures that I was unfamiliar with. I discovered that I loved learning cultures, not just through BTS but also through my studies as an art history major. I’ve begun to feel more hopeful about the future and learned to take things one step at a time. BTS continues to comfort me, particularly their song Paradise, as it “It is okay not to have a dream” as I don’t have one.
BTS helped me explore my interests. I delved into photography and now writing. They helped me discover more aspects of myself and made me comfortable. They pushed me to learn about cultures and ideas that continue to satiate my curiosity for knowledge. As a Korean American, they taught me information about Korea that is my home away from home. They reconnected me to my motherland and I embraced my identity as an Asian American. Today, I have successfully graduated from university and earned my degree. Although we are living in strange times, I feel hopeful that the next day will be better.
When I first came across BTS, I didn’t know them very well and considered myself a casual fan. Two years later, I was entrenched in self-doubt and loneliness. BTS came just at the right time to provide solace that I was not the only one with these feelings. Tomorrow and Whalien 52 are the songs that are close to my heart as these were the songs that allowed me to give BTS a chance and to look deeper into their music. They opened my eyes to discover myself and other aspects of the world that are unfamiliar to me. BTS made me love myself by teaching me the uniqueness of the culture of my motherland: Korea.
