The Mute Button, Pizza and Off-boarding
LIFE: Signal vs Noise
Hello again. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve tried really hard to shut the fuck up. Everywhere on the Internet. It all started around 6 months ago, when I killed my Instagram, sacrificed my Facebook account to the Gods of personal space and deleted Twitter, because it was too late to block Hitler. The blond one, at least.
Even though I was well aware of how my data was used by those apps and the overall negative consequences that social media can have on one’s psyche, these actually weren’t the reasons that drove me to quit. No. But, there was a moment in time when social media networks crossed the line with the quantity of advertised content vs. content created by your own connections. That was one thing. I simply got sick of the (roughly estimated) 3:1 ratio. I started feeling like a product/target group. Make no mistake, this is what we always were, the feeling just became very prevalent now.
The second thing was, to put it in Bo Burnham’s words, that nobody can seem to shut up about anything. The whole world feels like it needs to express their feelings and opinion on everything, no matter how stupid or irrelevant. Additionally, very few of these are original or genuine. Most of the time, it’s filler with no substance. What’s worse, because of how most of the platforms want us to engage, the filler gets engagement, resulting in more vanilla filler. “Human to human marketing!” — it yells on LinkedIn. Ok, so you think it’s the next big thing? So do 10,000 other marketers. At least give your perspective on why, even if you’re only echoing sentiments you yourself never came up with. But you don’t know, do you? You just feel the NEED to talk about it.
We’re producing so much content that I’ve started to worry that this fact will likely cause humanity’s downfall. Content. Noise. The inability to separate noise from relevance, in a key moment for our survival. Such as, oh I dunno, a deadly virus trying to kill us all. Actually, it’s just trying to reproduce and survive. Hate to burst your bubble, but in the grand scheme of universally relevant things human survival is neither good or bad — it’s neutral. The world full of pre-sentient water loving bacteria wasn’t universally better or worse, it was just different. It was worse from a human perspective which is, in fact, why we’re trying to preserve existing conditions on this planet — not for any greater purpose other than our own survival. The universe doesn’t care if the Earth is filled with volcanoes and toxic gases or beautifully decorated with lush, green landscapes. We do.
Let’s get back on track. I love the potential of connectivity on social media. The ability to connect, converse and share with a friend living in Philadelphia, USA or Johannesburg, South Africa. But a billion people yelling in a megaphone at the same time ain’t it. The more we’re desperate to be heard on every single topic, the more our relevant voices get drowned out.
So please, from time to time, do the world a favor and shut the fuck up. It might be the European Championship — but you know jack shit about football.
SHOWER THOUGHT: The Pizza Analogy
A pizza is our Earth in a nutshell. In some parts, you have mushrooms completely vibing with the olives. Then again, ketchup could easily claim that some random salami stole its land. Meanwhile, the entire crust is being violated with the genocide of sour cream and cheese. Don’t get me started on the terrorist pineapple, which is facing tremendous (yet warranted) discrimination. Then it gets chopped up on a whim, regardless of which ingredients make up each slice, with the whole thing ending up in a belly of one or multiple greedy humans.
Yummy.
SPORTS: The Kill Bill Paradox
NBA basketball is a paradox. It’s a game whose fanbase never recognizes individual accomplishments if they’re not accompanied by team championships. It’s a superstar focused league whose fans don’t recognize greatness if it serves a team-first concept needed to win those same championships. Shortly put — Giannis can lead his team to a championship by making the right plays, the winning plays, but unless he leads the team in scoring and takes game winning shots, he’ll never be considered one of the all time greats. Because “He didn’t carry his team.”
To me, greatness in a team game is Bill Russell. If I’m a version of Michael Jordan with non-existent range I’m not going to take a potentially game winning 3-point shot just because I’m the best player on my team, just because my ego says I should, just because fans expect me to. Passing it off to Steve Kerr is a better option for the team, for our championship hopes and that’s what ultimately makes me a winner. Because I did what it took to win. Russell knew he could score as MUCH as Wilt. He didn’t need to. He did other things. And just won.
WORK: Goodbye, Customer Experience
Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiit, here comes the elephant in the boardroom. Product led, customer first, unbelievable user focus. This is how we do. Until you decide to stop using our service, that is. From that point on, we’ll do everything in our power to keep you from deleting your account, restricting access to your user data or just blatantly show you that we couldn’t care less about you leaving with the obligatory and overly used “We’re so sorry to see you leave”. Right after making you jump through more flaming hoops than a circus lion in the 90s.
I talked to a lot of people, and most consider this my most radical business thought. I really think great user/customer experience should extend to users leaving your service. Make it easy for them. Offer additional value in the off-boarding process, ask them what would it take for them to continue using your service or what you can improve. Pay people for that information. Optimize and improve. Don’t hide the fucking logout button.
As a user, I don’t give a shit about your daily active user numbers. Yeah, I’m talking to you human-to-human product marketer/owner from the opening paragraph. Stop yer LinkedIn chatter and start doing.
Now, this is quite an unproven theory (mostly because it’s costly in the short term) but I also think well done customer off-boarding can also boost retention rates. Especially when 90% of the companies out there suck at doing it. Maybe, just maybe, in addition to you improving your service, the quality of your off-boarding process is the reason someone chooses to trust your business again.
Gotta go, there’s a bunch of torch and pitchfork carrying CEOs in front of my building. I wonder why.
