Choosing a Therapist

As a psychiatrist I know first-hand that therapy can help individuals deal with stress, anger and other emotions that negatively impact their well-being. For those of you considering therapy, remember that it’s a long-term commitment where you’ll be divulging your innermost thoughts and emotions. Therefore, it’s important to understand what makes for a quality therapist. I believe you must assess 3 things when choosing one.

Office

Given that therapy sessions occur in a therapist’s office, you want to make sure it meets certain standards.

First, make sure there are diploma frames hanging on the wall. Number of diploma frames is correlated with level of competence, and for a therapist there should be at least three. Ideally, the frames are made from dark polished wood and hung in a cluster. And if whatever is framed is written in Latin and in calligraphy, that denotes specialized expertise.

Second, assess the chair you’ll be sitting in since that’s where you’ll be spending most of your time. This means making sure that it’s comfortable and provides proper back support. During your first visit sit in various positions to make sure none of them causes you discomfort.

Behaviors

As you interact with the therapist, be on the lookout for 2 key behaviors that are considered hallmarks of expertise.

First is slow, rhythmic nodding whenever you talk. This indicates that the therapist is not only listening to everything you say, but is also empathizing. This nodding should happen at least 90% of the time whenever you’re talking.

Second is staring whenever the therapist asks you a question and you don’t answer. Contrary to most stares, which are mean or blank, the therapist’s should be stern yet empathic and is sometimes accompanied by a tiny smile.

Expressions

While a therapist’s main job is to listen, there are 2 things that every top therapist says.

First is “Hmmm,” which you should hear whenever you say something of interest. This indicates that the therapist is in deep thought. And if the therapist has a goatee, he or she should stroke it slowly at the same time. (Note: many therapists say, “I see” instead “Hmmm,” which is acceptable.)

Two is some variation of “What do you think?” Ask the therapist a question. If he or she provides a satisfactory response, you should be concerned. When asked a question, a therapist should never provide closure and clarity. Rather, he or she should respond with another question like “What do you think?”

If you take the time to assess these 3 areas, you’ll be on your way to better brighter you.

https://www.instagram.com/shrinkwholovespink/