10 Surprising Ways Trump Might Leave Office — Or, How Melania Saves A Nation

Ten surprising ways, Trump might leave office:

1. After Melania “inadvertently” scrubs clean his dentures with botulism.
2. In a tragic bedroom accident, after Melania “forgetfully” lets a pack of rabid weasels into the President’s bedroom, while he’s eating cheeseburgers in bed, watching Hannity on TV.
3. Due to heart failure, after “accidentally” being run over by the Access Hollywood bus, driven by Melania.
4. After Melania “absent-mindedly” tranquilizes him; then “mistakes” him for a disgusting sack of rotting garbage, and pushes him out the back of Air Force One, on the way to Mar-a-lago.
5. As a result of being ripped apart and eaten by angry grizzly bears, at the Bears Ears National Monument, after the Park Service “mistakenly” invites the grizzlies — and Melania “inadvertently” rubs his clothing with raw salmon guts.
6. From internal organ collapse — after Melania “accidentally” spills a quart of liquid arsenic on his mid-afternoon Big Mac.
7. Due to a horrible Marine One accident, after his long tie is “forgetfully” fastened to the helicopter’s rotor blades, by an “absent-minded” Melania.
8. Tragically, when Melania, “mistakenly” shoots him through the bathroom door, wrongly assuming there is a repulsive prowler, tweeting insanely ignorant nonsense, from the Presidential bathroom.
9. Due to a tragic golfing accident, after Melania “inadvertently” orders that the sand trap on the 9th hole at Mar-a-lago, be replaced with quick sand.
10. After Melania “absent-mindedly” rinses his contact lenses with Plutonium-239.

Editors Note: It’s satire. Stuff like this would only be appropriate in cartoons, for a cartoon President, with a cartoon wife.