(279) Things That Are The Same

or, alt facts, Feb 14th, 2017

So this happened of course:

Because apparently nothing makes your utterly fuckshit cartoon more thoroughly trash like an extra heaping of glorified sexism on top of every fragile white meep that ever managed to meep into vapid failure. Ps the hands in this cartoon look like my dog’s eye boogers.

It was a play off of this piece, of course:

Norman Rockwell, 1964, “The Problem We All Live With”

And because I love y’all, I compiled a list of things that are the same so you can keep shit straight during these confusing times.

A green button and an olive

A yeast infection and half a satchel of your bewildered ignorance

Self-esteem and an unwashed banana hammock

Racism and an insistence on education that is not at all related to fictitious mammal attacks

Making a statement and blathering incoherently because what the fuck even are words

Being a child who could die trying to get an education and being a gibbering vat of ignorance and shit smeared fifties

Three dogs ass juicing on your freshly washed blanket and a large tub of homemade chocolate ice cream

Chicago deep dish and this piece of lint

A hard boiled egg and everyone’s sanity

Misspelling “oh gawd why has no one fired me yet” and misspelling “xjT7*1bQjl”

Five gremlins eating pistachio pudding and me, alone, on a Tuesday night, cry-typing haikus about yarn
wait that’s totally the same
nevermind, moving on

Standing up for people whose lives are at fundamental and real risk, and half a country of precious snowflakes screaming about coffee cups and white genocide while punching their waiter and demanding that their meal be comped.

Using art to highlight pertinent social perspectives, and drawing a petulant riff cartoon because facts are trifling as are original ideas and concepts such as what even is a racial slur and how is that more awful than being called Bob which is my actual fuckforsaken name

Grilled cheese and a paper towel