5 New Products Brought to You by the Creators of Juicero!
Since you loved our $400 machine to squeeze juice for you, we have more products to help you fulfill basic tasks!
Many have criticized the Juicero for being an overpriced unnecessary product for the wealthy that typifies the absurdity of Silicon Valley. They misunderstand how busy young professionals can be! It’s hard to keep up with all the modern trends, but Juicero is here with 5 more products to serve your busy, modern lifestyle:
Garbaggio: Self Tying Garbage Bag
$300
When your garbage is full, it’s such a waste of your time tying up your waste! It only take 5 minutes to arrange a new garbage bag in our patented self-tying system. Then, when you need to take out the trash it only takes seconds with the click of a button! Afterwards, simply spend 5 more minutes setting up a new bag. This way, you only spend time in advance to save time when you’re actually taking out the trash! Enjoy life, save time where it counts.
Unicornator: Pour Rainbow Powder on Anything
$200
With the new Starbucks Unicorn Frappachino and unicorn toast popular on Instagram, this machine sprays rainbow powder on anything. Using a pesticide industrial-strength electric sprayer, you can hook up our machine and squirt, squirt edible rainbow! Use it anywhere — on your boyfriend, on your breakfast, or when coming out to your parents!
Contour-O-Matic
$350
No, this is not a product design solely by men for women! Silicon Valley would never do that! Shaped like a big pair of scissors with makeup sponges instead of razors, apply a consistent layer of your favorite contouring foundation on the sponges. Open the contraption and put your face inside. Close the clamps so that the makeup sponges close on the underside of your cheeks, providing Kardashian fresh cheeks that look sharp enough to cut glass.
Don’t Suck at Succulents Personal Gardener
$500
We get it, remembering to water these hardy desert plants occasionally can be hard. Now you can set a timer on your phone that regularly waters them for you. This water-sprayer on stilts is like your succulent’s very own personal shower! Place the stand with the nozzle positioned over your succulent. Charge the plant-showering station and connect to our app and fill the accompanying container with water. Now all you have to do to water your plants is to 1) charge your watering station and 2) refill the water compartment. Watering succulents has never been so easy!
Perfumeria: Plastic Hand to Squirt Room Spray
$400
Aromatherapy diffusers are so 2015 dorm room. Now you can take this rubber hand, fasten it onto the top of your home scented spray, and walk around your apartment, clicking a button on its wrist and the hand will spray the scent for you! So easy, so chic, it’s like you have a personal servant (hand), to do your chores with you.
Buy all these great products at our amazing prices! And remember, Juicero is always here to use technology to make the easy tasks in life more easy…
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