8 Real World Yoga Applications For Stock Brokers
Share these tips with your local stockbroker for a fruitful stock market harvest
- Downward DOW
Time to sell! Get into fiscal health position and out of the market jackass.
2. Namaste
Namaste-“I bow to you” And when they bow, kick them in the gall bladder and steal all their clients. Welcome to the rat race Siddhartha!
3. Meditate
Meditation is proven to take you to some fairy land or whatever. Sven from the office will never find your rolodex there.
4. Breathing exercises
Your Cambodian sex slave broke out of her dungeon. Breathe in 1, out 2. You always wore a mask, everything will be fine.
5. Warrior pose
Sven is from Asgard. Probably. Don’t let him hit you with the hammer. Use the warrior pose to defend yourself and fire his pasty ass.
6. Turn up the temperature
Make all those fucking interns burn. They better get used to living in hell if you catch my drift. MORE COLD CALLING.
7. Partner yoga
Not to be confused with making partner, this is to avoid couples counseling with your needy ass wife. Do not ask to do this with your boss.
8. LuLuLemon
LuLuLemon is the holy grail of where you can almost get away with yoga murder. Invite Sven on a shopping trip.