Alex Rodriguez’s 3 Secrets To Career Success & Making Your Colleagues Love You Unconditionally

By A-Rod

My trainer told me to drink Vita, and that’s the only substance he told me to use, and I used it, and Vita Coco water is 100% the reason I hit tons of home runs. That and practice. And diet. And… yeah that’s it.

MIAMI — Alex Rodriguez is the greatest baseball player of all time. But what else is new, amirite? Seriously though, when you look at someone who is really good at running, throwing, catching, and hitting things with a stick, you gotta assume they know about organizational psychology, and corporate leadership, right?

Yep, Alex Rodriguez, who is me, is an expert in all those things. And now I’m going to teach you how to be like me, with colleagues who love him at every organization A-Rod, who is me, worked for.

Step 1 — Be Inspiring

By earning the most money, you show everyone you know how to get the job done. They know they can count on you. They might even make you team captain if Derek Jeter doesn’t get in the way.

Step 2— Keep It Clean

Yeah, whatever. My lawyer said I had to put this one in.

Step 3— Keep Your Promises

Just kidding! Cheat like crazy on your wife (or wives, or mistresses). Talk smack about your team behind their backs. Take that opt out clause and sign a contract you can never fulfill because your ass is old. If they want to get rid of you, just take some bullshit advisory job and show up at the winter meetings like you’re in charge. It’s good because it tells your absentee father how much he is missing out on.

Please recommend and comment! Please check out my website and on Twitter! Please visit www.ARod.com and buy some merch! The guy has a family to support!