Are you eating this leadership superfood?

We can all agree that the best leaders don’t see the world like conventional people. Convention is the enemy of leaders.

Conventional people are happy waddling about, enjoying pleasurable foods filled with salt, sugar and fats. Foods that are fucking delicious.

However, true leaders are vocal about their bizarre diets. Steve Jobs did, and that should be enough reason for you to, too.

The food I want to share is not powdered. It’s high in protein and won’t have your internet-of-trousers sounding the Soylent-alarm one hour after consumption. And one more thing: the packaging is beautiful.

I am, of course, talking about Sardines. Here’s why.

Nutritionally they 10 ex it.

Nutrition is your body’s KPIs (more like daily OKRs) and something every leader needs to be vocal about.

Every chump around the office bleats on about protein as they gulp their shakes and chow on cans of tuna. Just remind them tuna is the ground beef of the sea. It’s conventional.

Be a leader. Think different. Make everyone aware of the superiority of sardines and their 17g of protein and 7g of good fats. They also contain 110% of your vitamin-D needs, aka virtual sunlight.

Most people don’t understand the difference between good and bad fats. Here’s how I explain it.

Think about fats like a business. Creating an Ai bot that puts people out of work so you can become a billionaire is revolutionary and — as we all know — good, honest money. But greedily building homes so that working people can clamour to support families is traditional — and therefore bad money.

It’s really that simple.

Good fats are unconventional and exciting like avocados or chia seeds and bad fats are things like eggs or cheese. Traditional, domestic, and boring.

Uncompromising UI

I trust, as a leader, you’ll be stocking up on sardines tomorrow. Word of caution: get rid of the plastic outer before anyone sees it. Underneath, a simple aluminium unibody is revealed with it’s Instagram-worthy craft-modernism feel.

Pressed from one single sheet, scored for easy opening. Behold the one intuitive opening mechanism; the “ring-pull”. The UX designers understand that when there’s a hole, you just have to put your finger into it. Could you improve this Ive-esq coffin for subhuman creatures?

Here’s one way: Sharpie the fat and protein KPIs onto the top. Real leaders take ownership, and you can do that by marking items with your scent or image.

A leadership experience to the bone.

You’ll unfurl the aluminium top-sheet to reveal an array of fallen fishes, waiting for your consumption. Nothing beats that just-opened sardine smell. Guaranteed to turn heads in the shared think-space / kitchenette area. Eyes full of awe, on you, their dear leader.

I once overheard a colleague say “Awe. Full.”

I’d led them to reach their awe capacity. Again. Something I try to do once a day.

Scoop a vanquished beast from it’s oily flavouring and enjoy biting through it’s pathetic little cadaver. Savour the feeling of effortlessly breaking though it’s bones. Slurp an errant spine into your mouth.

Take your time, offer some to others. Pulverize one sardine into a paste with a little mustard. Look at how easily it’s crushed into nothingness.

Revel in the power you have over other creatures. What did they ever do to change the world?

The best leaders enjoy Sardines as one of their 16 micro-meals throughout the day. They won’t leave you full and tired when you return to your standing desk for your post-meal minute meditation.

Become grounded while you think of the other organisms that have played supporting roles in your continuing triumph. Remind yourself that you are the lead in the stage play called “I’m changing the world.”

Now get on Slack and tell people to switch to the ‘dines. You can’t lead if they don’t follow.

Author Bio: Matthew has read the first third of nearly 16 leadership books.