As You Can See, I Am At a Baseball Game
Posted. Perfect. Love it. I mean, I love my photo of this professional baseball game. The grass — so green! Four bases! Nine good guys! A scoreboard! The fans! Though I have to be truthful and admit that yes, I did play with the color saturation a little bit. Needed that grass to look healthy! It’s like my phone’s camera was made for these upper deck wide shots — it catches everything. Honestly, I could probably frame this and sell it. And though several minutes have now passed since my picture went up, and I only have 2 likes, I’m not worried, because my photo of this baseball field is going to make you wish you were having this experience.
I’ll just text this picture to my mom and dad, in case they missed my post. It’s 8 here, so it’s 9 there, and I bet they’re watching NCIS or something. They’re not as “plugged in” as I am, not their fault of course. I’m a social media guy, that’s how my friends know me. “We never have to ask Kevin what’s new because we already know!” And that’s who I am: open-book, down-to-clown, sharing all my photos Kevin. Do you know about this statistic that says social media is busiest during commute hours? Like, if you post something right when people are leaving work, it’s more likely to get clicks and likes? Well people aren’t leaving work right now. That window is closed. I’m not saying that’s the reason this baseball field pic isn’t getting a ton of love, but it’s a contributing factor for sure.
I bet Jason would appreciate this picture. So would Becks, Alex, Furby, maybe Blaine. They’re going to see these stadium lights and think holy crap, Kevin is having a great time at that baseball game. I’ll throw it in a group text, definitely catch some jealousy from them. They’ll be like, “Whoa Kevin, how do you keep getting these awesome tickets to events?” and I’ll be like, “Easy, Stubhub.” I sent them my fave pics from Lollapalooza, the Kentucky Derby, the Indy 500 — big successes online, too. My Aunt Martha said I looked like I was having “fun”, and you know what? She was right.
These stadium seats make it hard to keep my phone in my pocket, so I just keep it out on my lap. Totally a practical thing. I don’t need to hold it; I’m at a baseball game! I’m fulfilled! I’m satisfied! I’m Kevin! Huh, stuck on 2 likes. You know, it’s the service in the stadium. This has happened here before. I’ll just go ahead and power this thing down, give it a second to breathe. Great view from up there, though — you can see it, too, if you go to my page and like my picture.
And we’re back! I’ll go ahead and put this picture in an email blast. My team at work will definitely be jealous of this. Monica in accounting is going to be like, “Kevin, seriously? Another cool event?” and I’ll be like, “I’m not trying to be cool, Monica, I’m just trying to seize life’s precious opportunities.” It’s the truth. I’m not here to impress anyone, I’m justHOLYjesus we have a SURGE of activity we are up to 7 now 8 what is happening where has everybody been? Oh, we got a heart in here, too, because somebody loves baseball! 9 and a comment! We have achieved 9 and a comment! “Cool view! B home 4 T-gvng?” says Aunt Martha. 10. 11. 12. 12 people want to be at this baseball game. I knew it, you sneaky bastards, just holding off until someone else gets the ball rolling. Double digits. Way to go, Kevin. I am a fun person.
Alright, this game is pretty boring, I can get going whenever.
