Australia or Austria? Trump Admits to Mixup

Admitting to mistaking Australia for Austria, President Trump attempted to quiet the storm that developed after he hung up on Australian Prime Minister Malcom Turnbull.

“They sound so similar,” Trump said. “I would never hang up on Australia. They’ve got hot women and bears and fun accents and the whole thing.”

Asked if he had grievances with either Austria or its president Alexander Van der Bellen, Trump said, “There are some bad hombres over there too. Real bad. Look at Arnold Schwarzenegger. I handed him “The Apprentice” and he took the ratings right down the crapper.”

Austria, said Trump, “just sounds like it’s up to no good. Listen to the way it rolls off the tongue. Austria. Just doesn’t seem like a friendly country to me. Look, it’s right next to Germany. What can I tell you?”

Just to be safe, Trump banned all Austrians and Australians from entering the U.S. until he can figure out what’s going on.