Breaking News

Maggie Rascal
Bullshit.IST
Published in
1 min readApr 1, 2017

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a surprise move Saturday, President Donald Trump announced that in response to the “completely unexpected” resignations of chief strategist/senior counselor Stephen Bannon and Chief of Staff Reince Priebus earlier in the day, he will name Hillary Clinton to replace both men. Her title will be Senior Chief Strategist of Chief Staff Counselor.

“Hillary was an obvious choice,” Trump said in a prepared statement. “Between us, we won 100 percent of the popular vote and 110 percent of the electoral college. There’s no way anyone can complain about this. My approval rating will be through the roof.” He refused to take any questions following the announcement.

A source close to the president, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said Trump also plans to request the resignation of Vice President Mike Pence, with an eye to having Pence and Clinton swap roles.

“As I understand it, that is his ultimate goal,” the source said, “but if he thinks I — um, I mean Mr. Pence — will step down voluntarily to be replaced by a woman, well, that just isn’t going to happen.”

Clinton declined official comment.

--

--

Maggie Rascal
Bullshit.IST

Maggie Rascal is the alter ego of Seattle-area writer M.P. Witwer. Together they create insightful (and sometimes humorous) poetry and prose.