Caligula Also Could Have Saved America From The Civil War

“He’s a very smart cookie.”

President Trump stated today that in addition to his admiration of former President Andrew Jackson, he has grown quite fond in recent days of former Roman Emperor Gaius Germanicus, also known as Caligula.

“Caligula’s done a tremendous job and has been getting recognized for it more and more, I notice,” said President Trump in spontaneous comments in the oval office. “The things he has done for Romania are amazing. He’s a very smart cookie.”

Caligula was a Roman Emperor from 37–41AD. He is most noted for his cruelty, mental illness and possibly the worst movie ever made. Among his accomplishments, he officially made his favorite horse a priest.

“Caligula was furious about the Civil War,” continued the President. “And he’s a very strong guy who could have avoided it. Not many people know this, but many people are saying, I wonder if Trump is like Caligula. Many really good people are saying it, more and more.”

In a related story, Andrew Jackson rose from the grave today to announced that he was disgusted by President Trump’s misappropriation of his legacy. “I may have been an asshole,” stated President Jackson. “But I wasn’t a moronic nincompoop.”