Donald Trump Goes Back On Campaign Promise to Be President
“I’ve got better things to do,” said the former President-Elect.
NEW YORK — After more than a year of campaigning to build a wall with Mexico, deport Muslims, and punish companies that move manufacturing jobs abroad, President Elect Donald Trump has gone back on every campaign promise, including his promise to be President of the United States.
Only last week, President Elect Trump said he was scaling back his plan to build even a fence with Mexico, saying we had the Rio Grande separating us, which should be enough even though that has never been enough.
President Elect Trump had previously said he would not require a Muslim registry, another campaign promise, nor would he prosecute Hillary Clinton, another campaign promise, nor would he resume water boarding, another campaign promise, nor would he conduct an auto de fe of Wall Street influence in Washington, another campaign promise.
Now it seems he is going back on his biggest campaign promise, to be President of the United States.
“My plane, my 757, is so great, so classy,” he said in a statement outside Trump Tower. “Air Force One is just a 747. So small. So sad. So little. It doesn’t even have marble and gold fixtures in the bathroom. The White House isn’t decorated like the private apartments of a Russian Czar, and Camp David doesn’t have a place to put a big Trump sign. Not my speed,” he continued, gesturing to comparative photographs with his tiny, effeminate hands.
Kellyanne Conway spoke with the press at length, explaining that he had much bigger plans than being president.
“Donald Trump is planning to enter the priesthood, and become Pope when the tired, pacifist loser currently in The Vatican kicks the bucket. If he wins that vote, he’ll run for Roman Consul, and then emperor of the moon.”
When asked why Mr. Trump plans this ambitious jump from President Elect, Kellyanne Conway responded with a shrug, “Because he’s a crazy, ego-maniacal asshole?”
