Hope for the Best, Prepare for the Worst
What to expect when you lose your status and position in life
Brace yourself for the fall and a sobering insight into not so nice parts of the human nature:
1 Most of your friends won’t have the time for you anymore. At best, they might call once a year — assuming they still remember your birthday.
2Many of those you thought would be there for you will turn their backs instead. This includes long-time friends and members of the family.
3 To make themselves feel better about not helping you, many will preach or put the blame on you. This will make you feel even more horrible.
4 You will feel as if you ceased to exist. People will stop answering your emails and your phone will go dead.
5 Very few people will show support for you on social media or in public, either in the form of likes or in any other way.
6Many of those who will be supportive will be uncomfortable with showing it openly and publicly.
7 Many of your acquaintances and former colleagues might also pretend not to see you or turn away when running into you in public.
8 Some of those you never thought would help will come forward on their own accord. They are the ones who might save your life.
9 Others will ignore that you are hanging by a thread and will brag about their business success to you instead of helping.
10 After going through this, you will never be the same again. You will never be able to look at people in quite the same way as before.
You will be better able to understand how Kitty Genovese must have felt during her half-hour agony on the streets of New York, when she had been attacked and murdered, despite crying for help in front of numerous witnesses none of whom came to the rescue — at least not in time.
It’s a famous case in social psychology, an example of bystander effect when people assume someone else will or should take care of the problem, shed personal responsibility, and do nothing as a result.
The case remains controversial since some of the witnesses later claimed they had called the police. The police department, however, knew nothing about any such calls.
Be it as it may, the girl was left to die and she didn’t have to; and if people are unwilling to act in the cases of emergency, it’s not surprising they are even more unwilling to intervene when it comes to social issues, poverty, and hardship. The lack of empathy in our society is disturbing.
Not everyone is like that, not every society is like that, it doesn’t have to be this way. There is this one simple rule known all over the world. It’s called the golden rule and it is about how we should never do unto others what we don’t wish to experience ourselves.
My bet is, no one would want to experience bystander effect. Don’t be the bystander, be the one who acts.
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Mateja started to write short stories at the age of ten and later became a freelance writer, radio personality, and counselor. Her life resembles a roller coaster ride full of ups and downs and some pretty wild turns. Among other things, her car was destroyed by tanks and she survived several brushes with death. She graduated in psychology from Arizona State University and is an editor at Transform the Pain and Personal Brain Whisperer. Her secret love is writing weird stories for The Rabbit Is In. Connect with Mateja on LinkedIn.
