Ganges River Dolphin Added to Critically Annoying Species List

After years of social decline, scientists have added the Ganges River Dolphin to the growing list of critically annoying species.

The decision came after the freshwater dolphin species continued to argue with scientists’ social media friends on various political posts, and repeatedly complained about a vague soreness in their fins while at the same time refusing any suggestions for treatment.

“It’s sad to see this once abundantly charming creature fall to this status,” Dolphin and Porpoise Scientist Dr. Regina Mills said of the Ganges River Dolphin, scientifically known as the platanista gangetica gangetica.

The Ganges River Dolphin (Platanista gangetica gangetica), which hunts by emitting ultrasonic sounds and can be found mostly in the Eastern Himalayas, has also been known to hint that researchers should improve their posture and, most recently, to double dip.

“Discovering that the Ganges River Dolphin double-dipped was a turning point for the species,” said Mills.

The dolphin’s new designation as critically annoying is a direct result of pollution as well as overfishing in its habitat, which has given the Ganges River Dolphin a lot to gripe about recently.

“They talk and talk about their issues, but they never ask what’s going on with you,” said researcher Stanley Lauretti.

The Ganges River Dolphin will join the ranks of the Sri Lankan Elephant, Albacore Tuna and squirrel, all of which were added to the list last year.