TrumPooning Tunes
Now we know — Kim Jong-un never saw The Sound of Music
How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria by Rodgers and Hammerstein inspired this Kim Jong-uning.
Kim’s people kept in poverty, he doesn’t seem to care
He loves to watch parading tanks atop his tall step-chair
And underneath his hair hat, it’s not clear a brain's in there
I even heard this dictator is crabby
He celebrates his family tree, but clan love isn’t real
He’d gladly have his uncle shot before his dinner meal
I hate to have to say it, call it North Korean feel
Kim Jong-un wears loose robes ’cause he’s flabby.
From heaven, Kim’s half brother said a word on his behalf
“Kim is a stone-cold killer, but his hair still makes me laugh.”
How do you solve this problem, North Korea?
How without starting war to bring Kim down?
Is this the far east version of Crimea?
We must resist making nuclear crisp, this clown.
Many a thing I know I’d like to tell him
But I’m not sure that he would understand
Like your missiles barely fly
And our cyber’s pretty sly
So shoot them, they’ll explode and crash to land
Oh, how do you solve this problem, North Korea?
How do you hold Kim’s short hairs in your hand?
When I listen I’m confused
Out of focus and short fused
When he says “how high” I guess I’m s’posed to jump
Unpredictable as the weather
Wouldn’t look good wearing leather
Narcissistic, xenophobic … enough ‘bout Trump!
Kim’d out-pester any pest
He’s a pinhead at his best
His hair’s straight because the perm he used won’t curl
He is looney. He is wild!
Pants are piddled! He’s a child!
He’s a headache! He is butt-hurt!
Makes me hurl!
How do you solve this problem, North Korea?
How do you free his people, take his crown?
We need a more convincing, smart idea
That armada sounded good once turned around!
Many a thing I know I’d like to tell him
Many a thing he ought to understand
Like you’ve seen your last parade
We’re about to throw serious shade
Your finale’s being played by the marching band
Oh, how do you solve this problem, North Korea?
How do you hold Kim’s short hairs in your hand?
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