Hate Your Enemies
“Be a variable.”
Why should I love my enemies?
After all, it was Jesus Christ who coined the phrase, and he was gutted by his enemies. Preceeding and following his death, people killed each other, enemies vs. enemies. And as generations passed, unsurprisingly, more enemies killed more enemies still.
It’s a wordy way of putting it, but I’m simply aiming at war. The timeless human exploit occasionally suppressed via socio-political constructs, for relatively short periods of time (in the grand scheme of history), only to again erupt into… enemies, war. While one part of the planet is at peace, another is at war. And even in peaceful locations, the shot clock is ticking. How long can they stave off the inevitable?
It seems the only sense which can be made of such a plea: “Love your enemies”, is to come to the conclusion that we don’t have any. At least, we don’t know who our enemies really are.
And sure, there are always reasons for a particular dislike or hatred, but an enemy is more essentially a feeling than a fact. It may begin as mild distaste, resembling an unpleasant smell. But that’s only the early stages. The unpleasant becomes scratching, offended annoyance. By proximity or consistency, the smell becomes stench, the stench becomes intolerable, and from a growing feeling of discomfort, both anger and disdain lash out and hijack the near-entirety of our perception about given groups or person(s) particular to the situation.
How else did you think war started? We instinctively think it’s “those” uncivilized folks far away who do backward things, like eating weird food, believing odd tales or speaking a confusing, fast language. Perhaps it’s the “idiots” on the other side of the political spectrum who ruined what would have been a near-perfect-utopia if it were up to you and your team. After all, you wear the blue jersey, number #45. They wear a red jersey, and one player’s number is #13… Can you believe it?! Let’s take them out.
Confronting difference is what breeds blood, enemies, competition and war.
Confronting difference breeds thriving marriages, deep friendships, collaboration and strong communities, too.
Take a look at the math illustration below.
Human differences are the constants (i.e. 5 and 2). We, individually, are the variables (X and Y). As you alter yourself, as your value changes as a variable, the equation spits out a different sum or total. Again looking at the illustration, let’s assume the sum total below of “4” is good, for the sake of argument.
4 is good, and that’s what the equation is intended to equal at the end of the day. You and I are the variables “X” and “Y”. So instead of me looking at “X” trying to tell him or her which value they should assume, or focusing on the constant 5 or 2 which I can’t change, what if both “X” and “Y” focused on the whole equation and their capability within it, seeing as they are variables able to morph by their very nature. In that case, 4 would be pretty easy to get to.
If you’re willing to be a variable.
While trying to prove who’s more wrong, so much lies at stake. The whole equation hangs in the balance, and we’re all part of the problem (pun intended).
Consider this:
When played out in its darkest, most blatant form, war is clearly horrendous. We see the bodies, hear the cries, and watch the devastation ensue for generations. But how many of us are willing to look at our personal life, made up of “work”, “play”, “family”, “entertainment”, “friends” and “lovers” to see the blood everywhere — Destruction we all-too-often have no clear intention of ceasing, mending or understanding.
Counting our own casualties, if we were in charge, what makes us think the problem of War would change even slightly? I have enemies, just as I am the enemy of someone else. We make a confusing scene by pointing our fingers at, eventually, everyone.
Yet, there is an Enemy behind our enemies. There’s a prime mover of problems, and our insticts lie as to who the culprit is. If I were to remain within the motif of Christianity, the prime mover has a personal name: Satan. The devil himself. Whether you’re religious or not, there’s explanatory power to this perspective— And it has the ability to free us from so much suffering.
The reason you have “enemies” is because you’ve yet to identify and overcome The Enemy, which is something in you.
Yogi Bhajan explains,
“Look at another person’s behavior toward you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than a statement about you […]”
Too soft? Unrealistic?
When I was younger, in middle school, high school etc., I remember hearing older folks say something about bullies. They weren’t Yogi’s but they were wise,
“Bullies are mean because they don’t like themselves.”
I thought the idea was sort of dumb because bullies always seemed very confident, energetic and strong. They often had more friends than me. I assumed confident people were doing great. They seemed to “like” themselves just fine. And sadly, I bet most bullies and middle schoolers still believe that.
But diseases are spread from one person to another.
What you spread only reveals what you’re already infected with.
No one leaves unscathed, no one remains unaffected. To hurt another is to hurt oneself. Even if you don’t see it,
Yet.
Songwriter Jon Foreman was speaking to this when he wrote this lyric,
“It takes two to go to war, but only one to fall in love.”
The line is from one of his songs called “War in My Blood”, and I can’t help but relate with the title. Ultimately, your enemy is you — There’s a place in us we can’t fully understand, but we hear it growl:
Isolation, jealousy, greed, boredom, fear, shame, comparison, self-loathing. It flows through our veins like a dormant virus, waiting to be triggered.
The (real) Enemy is something heavy, dense. It surrounds your head, seeps in around your pupils, and holds you in a molasses-flowing, complex hive. “It” seems to go nowhere while destroying everything. I want you to hate that thing. Whatever it is. I want you to hate it with utter disgust and intolerance. Destroy it.
Ironically, it’s by loving our “enemies” that we kill The Enemy in us and around us. Evil is extinguished as we find the answers to our problems in others. What we confront in them, and how we confront it, is a mirror so revealing that our fragility resists the gaze. If you’re a variable, then solving the equation begins with you.
So, perhaps “Love your enemies” needs a translation.
Truly, truly I say unto thee:
“Hate your Enemy.
But not before you realize who it is.”
