I stalked you on Facebook and now I need to know the entire story.

Trying to make sense of the life path of a former coworker.

His name just popped into my head.

A generic name that I probably couldn’t have recalled just two days ago. But it appeared out of the blue yesterday in all CAPS, begging me to investigate.

We shared a brief moment in time together as coworkers and I needed to see what he was up to. Back in ’96 he seemed like a guy that had his shit together even while we were both working a dead-end job paying out auto insurance claims.

I remember him as chill and friendly and infinitely likable. His Facebook profile was probably going to be run of the mill “late 30’s dude” but I still needed to see it to scratch the itch.

I found his profile on the first shot. My immediate reaction:

Oh no.

Is that him?

Can’t be.

It is. I can tell by the steely blue eyes.

We are going to be here for a while.

I had a visceral reaction after each photo on Facebook. For someone who I hadn’t thought of in years, he sure was making me relive those 18 months when we worked along side each other.

Should I have seen the signs? Was there any evidence that this transformation was coming? Why do I care so much?

He may now weigh 110 lbs.

He may be anorexic.

He may be a recovering heroin addict or he is a hipster going for that look.

He has a perpetual blank stare that is either screaming for help or it is a calculated “look”.

I feel worried for him and I have to imagine so do many others. I’m fascinated and sad and afraid I’m overreacting, all at the same time.

Reading on …

It says that he has a page on IMDB and has actually appeared in a few movies I’ve seen over the years. Now I need to go back and watch them all.

It looks like he attended film school at NYU.

He appears to be a writer and part time poet. I cannot understand the quote under his profile pic no matter how hard I try to deconstruct it. Deep, pretentious or just wacky?

He is teaching English now. Wow.

But more than anything, I can’t get over the hair.

A pompadour to end all pompadours. With that mop on top of the not-an-ounce-of-fat-body, he looks like a comic book character come to life.

I must know what happened.

I am a Facebook stalker. I have no shame in it either. If you put it out there, I’ll happily consume it and try to piece together my own version of your story, not the story you are trying to sell. I welcome you to do the same with me. I get it. I embrace it.

Some times it is easy. Especially if I know a little bit about the person I’m studying.

Other times it requires some imagination if the available information is limited. Still fun, but incomplete.

And then there is “Pete”. He has me obsessed with his back story. When did it all change? I’ve paged back in the photos more than 7 years and he seems to have been like this for a while now, but really, um, different, within the last 6 months.

Was there one major event that kicked off this transformation?

Or was it a series of small events that compounded upon each other?

FB photos and his timeline aren’t giving me enough. I could reach out to others who also worked with us but then they’d be all like “you’re a stalker aren’t you, weirdo?” and who needs that rep.

So without concrete intel, here are a few possibilities I’ve imagined and played out in my head:

He was convinced to give acting a shot because of his good looks, met a fellow actor who had a heavy influence on his coolness factor and he went off the rails.

He became a Crossfit member and took fitness too far. He became a vegan, became obsessed with muscle, specifically his abs and eventually developed some version of an eating/body disorder.

His family pushed him to embrace the “normal job” and “normal life” and he rebelled against it. He eventually found himself and dove in head first. He couldn’t be happier and I’m just overreacting to his body sitch.

I’m fascinated with people. And usually it is those that are anything but “fascinating”. People who live their lives outside of the norms, whatever those norms may be.

I love that they don’t give a fuck.

Because I’ve always given too many fucks.

I reside comfortably within the walls of “normalcy”. I like to think from time to time that I take a step out from behind these walls but I don’t. It’s who I am.

Observing others and how they live their lives is my way out. I’m jealous of those who naturally are different. I applaud them. I study them.

Social media opens these doors but I don’t know if that is always good. Am I any better off having seen Pete’s “story”? What lesson is there here? Is there one? Or is it purely the enjoyment of peeking behind the curtain, albeit one made out of glass?

I’m still trying to figure out Pete’s motivation … and my own.

I guess it is time for the inevitable.

Until next time …