I Went To America’s First Nutella Cafe and It Sucked
Sorry.
Twice, I’ve waited in line to get a glimpse of the country’s first — which implies, not last — Nutella Cafe. Like all millennials, I have an obsession with the brown stuff. Take that out of context and write a think-piece about it, why don’t you.
The first time I attempted to get my hands on something I could just make at home, I gave up. I was with a friend, we were hungry, damn it, and if we wanted something sweet, Dylan’s Candy Bar was just up Michigan Ave. The second time, a friend’s boyfriend held our spot for nearly an hour, only for us to get turned away at the door, because they were (I shit you not) “out of Nutella.” We went to Eataly instead, where they have a Nutella bar that has, to my knowledge, never run out.
Yesterday, however, I got lucky. My mom had some business to take care of in the city, so I took the morning off of work to accompany her. Afterwards, with time left to kill, we decided to grab breakfast at the Nutella Cafe. I figured that with it being a weekday morning, there probably wouldn’t be much of a line.
Pleasantly, there was no line out the door — but we were informed, upon entering, that the credit card machines had broken, so it was a cash-only situation. This worked out well for us, but was probably the reason why the restaurant wasn’t as busy as usual.
I ordered the Leige Waffle, while my mom ordered an entree that didn’t even come with Nutella, although you can get a side of the stuff with just about anything (for a price).
My waffle was good, but then again, it’s pretty hard to fuck up a waffle. I also had an iced latte with hazelnut flavoring. I thought that was pretty lame — “hazelnut?” Really? How generic. I mean, yes, Nutella is mostly hazelnuts, but still. You couldn’t call it “Nutella” flavor? That’s a marketing misstep if I’ve ever seen one.
The cafe itself was small and cramped, like a cross between a really modern McDonald’s and Panera Bread dressing up as a bottle of Nutella for Halloween. I was expecting more of an “experience.” A brunch spot I frequent is known to leave a jar of Nutella on each table, along with jams and other condiments; the so-called Nutella Cafe couldn’t even do that.
If you really like Nutella and want to grab a meal where you know it’s definitely on the menu, then I recommend stopping by the Nutella Cafe once the hype dies down and you can get yourself a seat within a reasonable timeframe (it’s worth noting that you can order their food to-go). Otherwise, go get yourself a box of Eggos to dunk into a jar of Nutella like a regular person.
