In Effort to Get Back in Good GOP Graces, Paul Ryan Tells House Republicans That His Parents Will Be Out of Town This Weekend

Speaker asks representatives “not to invite too many people”

Audrey Murray
Bullshit.IST
1 min readJan 12, 2017

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After falling out of favor with top House Republicans over his initial reluctance to support Trump’s candidacy, Paul Ryan signaled his eagerness to rejoin the Republican inner circle by telling them about his parents’ upcoming plans to go out of town for the weekend.

“Please don’t spread this around,” Ryan reportedly wrote in a Snapchat message sent to Republican House leaders. “I don’t want this to get too crazy.”

Republicans have been openly snubbing Ryan for weeks, refusing to let him sit at their table in the House cafeteria, and making plans to hang out at the mall without telling them.

In his message, Ryan is said to promised that his older cousin could secure alcohol. But he implored the representatives to use caution. “If my parents find out about this,” he warned, “they’ll take away my car.”

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Audrey Murray
Bullshit.IST

Writer, comedian, lover of all things Russian. Author of Open Mic Night in Moscow (out now!).