Omarosa Fired: White House Loses Its Official Black; Frederick Douglass Shortlisted To Replace
The White House announced today that official black person Omarosa Manigault has decided to depart the Administration to return to her previous life of doing nothing. Omarosa had come to the President’s attention in the first season of the Apprentice for her abrasive style and for being a black person Trump could tolerate standing next to, when cameras were present.
“This is going to be a huge lose for Trump,” said a senior advisor. “Trump really enjoyed having her hanging around in the background of his White House photographs. She was also really quick to fetch Diet Cokes. And, of course, she’s a Black.”
Republicans on Capital Hill wondered what this would mean for Ms. Manigault and the White House.
“I heard Trump put out feelers to see if Frederick Douglas would like to take her place,” said a prominent Republican. “He’s been impressed with Fred’s increasing popularity. He was crestfallen when Mr. Douglas never got back to him. Apparently Mike Tyson and Dennis Rodman are now short listed — they are both Blacks, my staff tells me.”
Ben Carson, the only other black person with any significant standing in the Administration reacted with shock.
“I’m praying for Omarosa,” said Carson, over the phone, from the Popeyes Chicken in Detroit, where he likes to spend his day, and once assisted a robbery. “She was a disgusting, no talent prima donna, with an obvious personality disorder, but at least she was one of our own. Now I’m the only unqualified moronic person left in the Administration — that’s also a Black.”
Meanwhile, others speculated that Judge Roy Moore was looking for a black to be near in photographs, as he entered retirement.
“It’s an absolute natural for Judge Roy Moore,” said a prominent Alabama legislator. “Roy Moore is a total amoral kook, just like Omarosa. He recently lost his one Jew lawyer, so he’ll be looking to rebuild his appeal to minorities for his 2020 Senate run. I understand she loves to be in photographs, plus she’s a Black.”
Editors Note: She’s gone. The rest is all made up. We, like all of America, wish her the best for her future kooky endeavors. Prediction: a book will be written and everyone will be thrown under the bus. (She and the President share a similar personality disorder.)
