Pond Monkeys

There’s pond monkeys in my uncle’s pool house,
He got them as a gift from some royal family on a business trip to Tanzania,
They’re huge, ferocious and well fed,
They only eat meat
Sometimes they let us feed them geese and trout,
But we all know they prefer kids,
A pond monkey can bite a kid for no reason,
Then walk away pointing and laughing,

Once, my uncle decided to bring Subway Cesar Salads for the pond monkeys,
They were not impressed,
They cast blank gazes past and over his head to show indifference and disrespect,
They pointed and chattered wildly,
And flung feces at each other,
They knew it infuriated my uncle mightily .

Pond monkeys are not legal in New Hampshire,
My uncle is breaking the law,
Soon he’ll say something that’ll rub me the wrong way,
And I’ll call PETA on him.
PETA is stern,
They’ll fling fake blood at a good suit.
Please don’t annoy PETA