Sean Spicer Claims Trump Is Batman
Also Claims Inauguration Bigger Than Star Wars
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In today’s White House press briefing, Press Secretary Sean Spicer pushed back on media criticism of the first days of the Trump administration with “alternative facts”, assuring the press corps that claims that Donald Trump is an old Soviet Intelligence asset are false.
Spicer asserted that in fact, Donald Trump is The Bat Man, a vigilante who keeps safe the people of Gotham, using his fantastic wealth to turn himself into a one man army capable of investigating and arresting criminals with his special gadgets, airplanes, and cars. Said vehicles, Spicer said, are to be renamed since President Trump is forgoing his secret identity.
“This gear are henceforth to be referred to at The Trumpmobile, The Trumpbike, The Trumpwing, The Trumpcopter, The Trumpcave, The Trumparang and of course, The Trump Signal.”
Spicer also pushed back on claims that the inauguration of President Trump was not well attended, claiming instead that more people came to the inauguration than saw the entire Star Wars franchise.
Since A New Hope alone saw 352,734,532 tickets sold*, even assuming some people went to see it multiple times, it seems outside the margin of error of the 160,000 estimated by The New York Times.
*Using figures from The-Numbers, we divided by the average ticket price in 1977, which according to Google was $2.23
