Symbols on Your Office Phone and Their Possible Functions

To the left, to the left

Curved arrow pointing to the left — Makes haters go to the left

Elephant ear? Reel-to-reel?

Two circles connected by a line on a white background — Orders an elephant ear pastry

I have NO idea what this really does.

A circle with spokes — Fixes your bicycle wheel

Remember phone books?

An open, underlined book — Creates a portal back to the 1985 yellow pages

The minus times

A minus button — Makes the conversation go away

The bad plus

A plus button — Makes the conversation improve

Red alert!

A red phone handset — Provides a direct line to communists

Let’s hit pause on this

A pause button — Pauses time, like that girl who could pause time using her fingers in that bad sitcom, because her father was an alien (?!!)

Everybody needs a shoulder to lean on

A silhouette with an arrow pointing to its shoulder — Brings up a shoulder for you to lean on

Roundin’ up a posse!

A group of three silhouettes — Conjures up a posse

Headset Nation

Headphones with a microphone — Takes you to a Janet Jackson concert

A speaker? A horn?

Horn — Makes a loud “Ay-YOO-gah” sound

Do not attempt to add backing vocals.

Old-timey microphone with slash through it — Makes sure there are no backing vocals on your call