The Blame Game — A TV Show
This is my open pitch to the television industry. I’ll be waiting for my phone call from Bob Iger.
The Weakest Link meets Would I Lie To You?, with “not torture”.
Summary
A game show in which members of the administration of George W. Bush compete to not be sent to a black site and water boarded. The game’s objective is to place the blame for the many mistakes and deliberate crimes committed during their time in office on the appropriate parties.
It has been many years since those dark days when President Bush said “Now is not the time to play the blame game” (see below) and we have some perspective on it. It is important that people never forget that we really should have been playing The Blame Game back then, because it probably would have stopped a lot of death, and possibly the economic crises of the Bush years.
On The Blame Game, our spitting-mad host introduces tonight’s players, for example: architects of The Iraq War Paul Wolfowitz, Donald Rumsfeld, and Colin Powell. Dressed in pink informs containing electrodes placed strategically on their soft bits, our players stand at lecterns made of perspex, so we can see when they urinate on themselves.
Our host will be Al Franken, given some special K, and released at the last moment before air from a sensory deprivation hood, so he thinks it’s a fever dream in 1983.
The Game
The host goes through a laundry list of decisions made by our contestants asking them to assign blame to each other. The correct answers will be determined by our judges: Jeff, the homeless crackhead who lives on my corner, a cat, and New York Times columnist Thomas J. Friedman.
The game is played over the course of four hours of uninterrupted live television where the studio gets hotter and hotter and the house band (Metallica) plays louder and louder so no one can really concentrate.
Players are asked who they think bears the blame for these “mistakes”. We of course, have researched and documented the answers, so our judges know to whom they should apply the electric-punishment-sticks for answering incorrectly.
Questions may include:
Who bears the blame for the no-bid contract with KBR?
Why didn’t the Bush Administration act on Richard Clarke’s warnings about an attack before 9/11?
Why didn’t all those tax cuts make everyone rich?
The winner isn’t waterboarded!
