The Writer’s ABCs
A is for ANXIETY that never really ebbs.
B is for BETTER BUILD your BRAND, and win the Inter-web.
C is for COFFEE and COMMISERATING with other writer-types
D is for DRUNKENLY sustaining the Hemingway stereotype.
E is for EPIC EMOTIONS about pretty much EVERYTHING.
F is for FACING the FREAKING FACTS, even if the other guy’s lying.
G is for being GIFTED at GRIPETITUDE, my new made-up portmanteau.
H is for HONESTY, HONOR, and HOPE (the current supplies seem low).
I is for the IMAGINATIVE, and the INSUFFERABLE IDIOTS, too,
J is for even the JOKES that aren’t funny, even when the JOKE’S on you.
K is for KUDOS, you stayed in first-person and KEPT all your characters straight!
L is for LOSING the will to LIVE because you can’t flippin' get past page eight.
M is for MAYBE this was a MISTAKE, twenty-six seems like a lot.
N is for NONSENSE, we’re halfway there (pretty much, right on the dot.)
O is for OCCASIONAL OPTIMISTS (harmless now and then).
P is for PERPETUATING PESSIMISM, since we more often lose than win.
Q is for QUESTIONING the crazy decision to QUIT that 9–5 rat race,
R is for REBELS who didn’t look back, but leaped into the unknown with grace.
S is for any writer with a STUBBORN, SASSY SOUL.
T is oh my God, I’m TIRED. The TWENTY-SIX are TAKING a TOLL.
U is for UNPLEASANT rhyming drivel that seems to have no end.
UMM…
V is for having a VACANT mind despite an extensive VOCABULARY.
W is for WRITER’S block that may never unblock (but you’re too damned exhausted to find it that scary).
X is for did I mention being eXTREMELY eXHAUSTED? Too tired to find X words?
Y is for YAWN. And another YAWN, and one more…and
Zzzzzzz..
For Classical Sass TeriJo Heath Houston Ezinne Ukoha (Ezinne for some reason you were supposed to be here and disappeared. Sorry! Because at least two letters were composed with you specifically in mind! Lol) H. Nemesis Nyx Matt Querzoli Anna Now Gutbloom Meg Jules Lizella Prescott and everyone I forgot because it’s 6:52 in the goddamned morning and I should still be ZZZZing. You people are either the funniest, or the cleverest, or the most principled, or the most loyal, or just the most talented writers I’ve crossed paths with on this journey so far. Well, you and everyone I can’t wake up enough to remember. For whatever that’s worth.
