The Zombie Survival Doctrine
At some point within the last decade, people have become scarily desensitized to the mutilation and dismemberment of human beings. On a weekly basis, I read and hear about weaponry and contingency plans for an impending apocalypse. I see bumper stickers, websites and Youtube channels dedicated to fanfare, preparedness and most importantly: how to completely annihilate the human nervous system via decapitation or brutal blunt force trauma.
In popular books, TV shows and movies; fictional characters are portrayed as wretched humanoids that aimlessly wander the destitute wastelands of our once lush planet in search of food. Our heroes look like us, walk like us, talk like us and we yearn for their welfare as if it were our own in the face of seemingly constant adversity.
As people half facetiously prepare for these far fetched scenarios in real life, I wonder if it’s not all connected.
When I open my social media apps; I see videos of children decimated by bombs, Jihadists hacking away at blindfolded victims and cops shooting unarmed black men. The people who post things like this think of themselves as courageous informers who are spreading the truth about worldwide social inequality, but I see them as co-conspirators to the repeated nullification that acclimates us to violence.
It takes not one vertebrae of courage or compassion to perpetuate pictures and videos of human suffering and injustice. That is not righteous. That is not helping anyone; it only serves the opposite agenda of media glorification and sheep-like complacency when confronted with violence.
Fallacious cries for retribution ring out from the Dorito covered fingers of cozy internet onlookers as they project their normality and helplessness by pretending to be judge, jury and executioner for whoever they see fit for blame from their Ivory Tower of hindsight and supremacy.
Righteous powder kegs of misinformed masses that have been force fed bias portions of tainted flesh somehow feel that they have been deeply betrayed and seek their pound of gratification from strangers on the scales of justice.
“To bait fish withal. If it will feed nothing else, it will feed my revenge.”
The mobs and droves of hungry lynchers search for their victims by indicative vocal cues, beards or blue uniforms. Surely, if they do not look or talk like you; they must be some kind of formerly human monster that you can remorselessly behead without hesitation.
It’s almost as if we are led to believe that the world is falling apart and becoming more horrifying than ever.
Let’s make Earth great again!
We are the luckiest humans who have ever lived, ever.
There are several reasons that the human world population has almost tripled in the last 70 years. My favorite guesses are medical advancements like vaccines and unifying social events like post war tranquility. Yes, even in the past 41 years since Vietnam ended, our world population has increased by over 3.5 billion. There’s something about war that brings out the best in us; after we’ve joined together to defeat a common enemy, we all like to sit back, invent microwaves and make babies.
The enemy of our enemy is our reason to love one another.
You can thank war and obnoxious global defense spending for your technologically advanced gadgets and ultra-efficiently comfortable way of life. Go ahead, say ‘thanks war’… Whisper it to yourself, no one will judge you.
We have it really good, so good in fact; some of our favorite books, TV shows and movies are about the most creative ways to dismember human beings if some sudden circumstance should cause them to become randomly violent rather than racially and hatefully violent. Civilians are spending millions of dollars on real survival kits, bullets and bladed weapons that are branded with fictional logos.
WE ARE BEING TRAINED TO KILL EACH OTHER. and we love it…
It’s being presented to us in a lighthearted and whimsical way that makes the act of maliciously injuring and maiming other human beings fun! It appeals to our inner serial killer who just wants to play with intestines and dine on a human liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. It also makes us feel strong, like we are survivors and we would make the right decisions that would protect the ones we love or at least the ones we deem worth saving.
Survival is defined as “The state or fact of continuing to live or exist, typically in spite of an accident, ordeal or difficult circumstances”.
So, in other words; survival is completely all about you and your ability to continue living. Do you have what it takes to survive? Are you prepared? Are you ready to become a nomad or barricade yourself in with food supplies, weapons and your wits? Are you ready to sit back and watch the fall of civilization and see everyone around you die while you chow down on a granola bar muttering “I told you so”? Are you ready to be alone forever, knowing that you did everything you could do to save yourself? Are you ready to kill looters and marauders who try to prowl on you? Are you ready to kill ANYONE who might endanger your well-being? Are you ready to murder starving children and families who would try to steal your food or water?
I hope you’re ready.
You have been shown. You have been instructed. You have been encouraged to fantasize about beating death with death.
Of course, you have a choice. You always have a choice and honestly; you just never know how it’s gonna go until it happens. You might swoop in like a superhero and save everyone! You might smash a store window and grab that 60" TV you’ve been wanting for the last few months or you might just freeze up. You may become a noble leader who everyone adores or you may end up becoming what you hate.
Me? I think there’s a certain innocence and absolution to indiscriminately scouring the Earth in search of yummy brains. Yeah, I’m not sure if I’d be ‘happy’ but I suppose I‘d be content by virtue of ignorance spending the rest of my days as a Zombie.
