Thinking and Wondering?

Getting it on with Bots.

Does any of this makes any sense at all? Medium Staff Medium

Is This For Real?

I come and I go, I come and I go. I mother. I sell sell sell and write my god damn never ending 2017 Business Plan currently 50 hours in and on version 5. I eat. I drink. I dream of presence and yoga and candles and crystal singing bowls. I carpool. I sleep. I thank the universe everyday that i have an Angel De La Guardia that helps creates stability and routine in my home. I look at my Fitbit and say “fuck you!” when it buzzes as me and says “it’s step o’clock”. I look for red bull and am grateful I don’t look for cocaine. I fuck when he is around. I make lists. Oh god I write so many to do lists! I navigate my never before indescribable feelings caused by Sir Devil T_ _ _ P(huck). Somehow I am doing everything, and I am doing nothing. I feel lost some moments. I know nothing. The only helpful thing is to know so so so many share this feeling right now. I show up. I put one foot in front of the other. Everyday is the same and everyday is different. I’m doing what I can to go through it and grow through it. The one thing I DO know though is each day I get new Mediumfollowers!

Every.

Single.

Day!

Yet my output is in spurts. I write for me. When I write, my newfound creative outlook, I get into the free flow zone that Jason Silva talks about. Everything disappears. I am present. I am focused. Just like when the Latino Lover drapes me and worships me and I’m one with the universe and he and I are one and i’m one with my eyes locked on his. Just like when I witness one of my children speak with wonder, wow they as they move, jump, twirl, sing, play. I am present. Ah it’s such a gift and a oxygen tank. When I write.

I flow.

Cyber tribe, H. Nemesis Nyx Cyborg, someone please explain why I’m getting daily followers when I feels like it’s a very minimal bunch that see my words? I’m not concerned on stats. I’m not concerned on likes. Our self worth is our own esteem. I just feel like it’s not real, like fake algorithms, because I’m being followed without any interaction, without all these new followers breathing with me and my words. I love the idea that my thoughts and emotions resonate with anyone, and certainly Medium writers your words resonate with me. And once this business plan is out of the way (“what’s in the way is the way” Eckhart Tolle) and I come up for air, and I walk out of denial again (FML) I’ll be reading more of all of you again to be inspired and uplifted and to resonate with you all more. I just am thinking and wondering, these followers, where are they coming from? I barely hear from people. It’s like having sex with bots!

So much fake news. Are these followers real? If you are — sending you love and light!

Love you all Medium tribe.

Miss you!

Be Fierce!❤

FF