Top 10 Excuses for Not Exercising

1. Sweat contains water. Water is a precious resource. There are people in this world that would appreciate that water. Don’t waste it.
2. Runners are always the ones finding dead bodies. Alternatively, they’re always the ones getting murdered on their early morning runs. Not fast enough, huh?
3. It’s called athlete’s foot, not couch-potato foot.
4. You don’t have to worry about ruining your workout with dessert, because there’s nothing to ruin.
5. Be fit + wear a swimsuit = normal. Be unfit + wear a swimsuit = brave. I dunno about you, but “brave” seems like more of an accomplishment to me.
6. Spanx exist.
7. Gym memberships require a lot of money, exercising outside requires a lot of confidence. Can’t have confidence without exercising. It’s kind of a dilemma, best to just avoid it.
8. Your physician technically hasn’t given you permission to start a new exercise routine.
9. You could die.
10. You don’t have time. You’re too busy making lists.