‘Twas the Night Before Indictment

A Holiday Tale

“Nobody has more holiday cheer than me.”

‘Twas the night before indictments

And in the White House

The creature was stirring

And ready to grouse

His fingers they drafted a tweet without care

And he ran one small hand through his clump of fake hair

The staff was all sleepless, stressed out in their beds

While visions of handcuffs danced all through their heads

And First Daughter Ivanka over in Kalorama

Sat with Slenderman Jared and braced for some drama

When out of their pockets their phones gave loud PINGS

With a tweet from their leader, a pro in such things

“Collusion is fake and so is the news-

And my inaug. got ‘MILLIONS’ of views”

“The ‘media’ acts like they’re hunting a witch,

While Hillary’s a crooked and criminal bitch”

“The system is ‘rigged’ and they tampered with votes”

(Clearly Donald still did not grasp using air quotes)

“Obama’s behind this — a bad (or sick!) guy

and the FAKE NEWS MEDIA continues to lie”

Ivanka braced for more tweets, praying that there were none

But it seemed as if Daddy wasn’t quite done

He sprung to his drafts with the speed of a missile

And out went a tweet, like the down of a thistle

And so he exclaimed in regards to his plight:

“DEMS LOVE DISTRACTION. Sad! Good night.”