Existence

“Do you have suicidal thoughts?” asked my therapist.
“No” I said.

I didn’t lie; but I did not tell the truth. There are times I wish I did not exist. Sometimes I think I should just disappear into thin air. I googled spontaneous combustion. Alien abduction. But I never think of taking my life. I only think of ways that would cease my existence. Maybe they should have asked if I want to be.