Guilt

moulee
bumpahead.net
Published in
8 min readJun 14, 2010

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Guilt

(A fiction on child labour)

Jump

We ran hither and thither and shouted with joy. The sun shone brightly from the clear blue sky above. Our little fingers touched the soft red and yellow buds as we ran. We reached the river and dived into it one by one. The place echoed with our happy and cheerful laughter. Water splashed on my face as my friend waded in the river to find a glossy pebble. I wiped the water from my face, opened my eyes and was ready to dive in again. In a flash, the lush forest vanished, the laughter evaporated,and the echoes were sucked out. I looked around for the flowers and the buds. The laughter and joyous screams were silent, as I saw, a face appear into view

“Wake up, you good for nothing, it’s already 5.30 in the morning, you wretched kid,” I got up with a jolt and saw the giant figure standing near the kitchen door.

“Where’s the milk you lazy bone, don’t you know you have to get milk by five thirty. You are not here on vacation, go and get milk.” continued the figure.

I hurried out of the door and went to get milk. My day began at 5:30 every single day in this city. I Barely slept, hardly ate, I yearned for home… Amma… where are you…How did I over sleep today? I never did, I knew they would hit me if I did.

I was brought here five months ago by one of my distant relative. She promised my mother that I would get enough to eat and good clothes to wear and all I had to do was to take care of the new born baby in this house. I never wanted to leave, but I had no choice. She left me here and I never saw her again. My father was paralysed in an accident at the quarry he worked. The entire responsibility fell on my mother. We hardly had anything to eat, most of the money was spent on my father’s medicines. The quarry owners denied any compensation for the accident. My elder brother quit school and he took up a petty job in a nearby workshop. It was then my aunt told my mother about a family in the city looking for small kids of my age to take care of their new born. Initially I refused, but eventually agreed as I had no other option.

I was scared and thrilled when I first came here. I left my village for the first time, I was thrilled to travel by train, I felt like moving ahead. I was so astonished to see the busy and crowded railway station. The city was fast, everybody looked busy. During night the lights outside made it look like a magical world, yes it is a magical world. The thrill vanished like a magic. Now, I am no more thrilled, but only scared. I wished to run away but I had no place to go, I don’t know the way to my village. In few days I realised that I was not only brought here to look after the kid, but also to do household works too. They cut my long hair short as they did not want me to waste time braiding it. And I get to eat only twice a day, that too if there is some left over. Or you can say that I get food so that I survive to do the work. My day starts early in the morning. I run down to the dairy to fetch the milk, sweep and mop the floor, help Madam in kitchen, feed the baby, wash clothes and scrub the dishes and then fall tired.

I love to go and get milk in the morning. I get to see the outside world, I enjoy the morning breeze, the dew drops and the raising sun makes me forget the life I am living, no! life I am surviving. When I see other kids go to school, I miss my school and friends back at home. I did not attend fancy schools like these kids do, but I enjoyed going there.

Whenever I see a movie poster on compound walls, I remember watching cinema with my parents. I hum my favourite song unconsciously. They do not let me watch TV in the house. Even if I stare at it for few seconds, they would beat me. And they lock me in when they go out.

At first I was scared but now I am used to it, because I know, I would not be hit again until they returned.

they come after me If anything goes missing in the house, they suspect me and hit me, even if they misplace the item.

I was looking forward to go home during Diwali. My aunt never came as she promised. I spent my first Diwali here, alone in the kitchen.

I tried to talk to few people here to help me but they never listened. Everyone looked so busy to listen to me. Even those who had time looked at me with suspicion or just walked away. Once someone recognised me and told Madam what I said to her. They locked me in a room for a whole week. They did not give me food for two whole days and they beat me up severely that I have to limp now while walking. I miss my family and my brothers. I wish someone would soon take me to my family. Now I should get milk and rush back, else they would beat me…

I bought milk and rushed back…

“What took you so long?” asked Madam. I didn’t want to make her angry by replying. I stood silent with my head down. I felt a heavy blow on my cheeks. It pained, tears filled my eyes. “Get in and boil the milk” she shouted.

It was 12.30 PM, she was in the living room with the baby. I filled the bucket with washed clothes, and carried it to the terrace. It was heavy and I felt like the bucket dragging me down. I was empty inside, I had my last meal yesterday evening. I reached the terrace, the sun was bright, I felt the heat directly on my bones. I didn’t feel anything on my barefoot. They have become numb, the first time I came here barefoot it burned. I put the cloths one by one on the cloth line.

Jump Forest

I want to get out of here and I don’t have the strength to fight them or I don’t know the way to reach my family and no one believes me, I felt lonely and weak. I walked towards the edge and looked down. Everything looked so tiny. “Jump” said the voice. I looked around, no one was there. “Jump” it ordered. I stood there stunned. “Climb up on the rail and jump, free yourself from this place,” it said. I climbed up on the rail, “What are you waiting for, jump.” I felt numb and stood there. “You wanted to get out of here. This is your chance, jump.” The height made me dizzy, there is no chance of surviving if I jump from here, it was too high.

I remembered kids cliff diving in my village. They always sprung up from the water with full of life, like Phoenix. May be I will too. But here ,there was no water instead I saw freedom. “This is you chance, what are you waiting for, you foolish girl, free yourself.” the voice convinced me. I looked down again, the concrete turned into lush green forest. There it is, the river I used to dive in, my friends playing in the river and picking pebbles…the wind pushed me gently as I lifted my left leg…

meanwhile…

Prabhu put the newspaper down and said, “At last, Right to Education Bill has been passed.”

“That’s good, I hope it will be implemented properly,” said Swathi as she closed her lunch box.

“Obviously, it will take time, but this is a start. This will also help to eradicate child labour”

“Speaking of child labour, did you notice the little boy they employed in our canteen?” asked Swathi.

“Our canteen? When did they do that? It is really a shame to see people still employ children. We should talk to our manager about it” said Prabhu.

“Yes we should,” replied Swathi, “And you look so lost Deepa, what’s wrong with you?”

Deepa came out of her thought and looked at Swathi, “What?” she puzzled.

“Are you even listening to us?” asked Swathi.

“What did you say?” she asked.

“Are you ok? What’s the issue, you are unusually silent today.”

“There is this girl in my area whom I have noticed few times while jogging. Yesterday she was talking to few people and she tried to talk to me too…”

“Who is she?” asked Prabhu curiously.

“I don’t know. She must be hardly 12, looked very emaciated with bruises on her face…”

“Another domestic help!” exclaimed Swathi.

“What?” asked Deepa.

“What else could it be, are you so naive to doubt the kid?”

“How can you be sure that she is being ill treated?” asked Deepa.

“No one starves to look so thin except super models, and she isn’t one from what you said, and there is no harm in listening to her. Why don’t you talk to her next time when you see her?”

Deepa nodded…

— — -

7.30 PM

Deepa settled on the couch and switched on the TV and flipped through channels. She stopped as the image on the news channel struck her. Breaking news flashed at the bottom in bold red with the image of a little girl in bandages whom she vaguely remembered.

The flash news read, “Another minor child held captive as domestic help tortured, 12 year old jumps from 6th floor survives miraculously. Still in trauma and undergoing treatment…”

A sense of guilt engulfed her…

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moulee
bumpahead.net

Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Strategist. Trainer and Coach. Co-Founder Queer Chennai Chronicles.