Is marriage equality inclusive?
What does it mean to be in an intimate or romantic relationship for queer persons? Where are we going when we talk about same-sex marriage? Let us also remember that when we say same-sex marriage it isn’t inclusive of all queer persons and the diverse relationship setup we have fostered over the years . Is it right to dub the demand to legalise same-sex marriage as marriage equality?
Why should we heteronormalise our relationships while we can queer the institution of marriage and how relationships are seen in our society. In the current society it seems perfectly logical to demand the same legal protection that a married heterosexual couple enjoy. Shouldn’t we question why these privileges are linked to the institution of marriage? Many of these benefits can very well exist even if they are delinked from the institution of marriage.
How would be the relationship of queer persons seen if we choose not to get married when ‘marriage equality’ is extended to some under the queer umbrella? Will our relationships not be valid? Will we also inherit the patriarchal terms in our languages into our relationships? A friend once asked me what is the term for a person in a same-sex relationship when their partner passes away. I never thought about it until then. I then realised there is no term in Tamil for a man whose wife is dead. In all these years there has been numerous relationships that has never been acknowledged. And when one of the partner passes away, and when biological family intervenes they do everything to erase the relationship. We may need protection to protect ourselves, our relationships, our lives. But I don’t think marriage is the only way to go for it.
I have no opinion about persons who voice their demand for legalising same-sex marriage. And I will not speak against them. Each one of us have our own sense of where we want to reach. But for me it isn’t. If given a chance I’ll call all heterosexual people to join our fight to dismantle the institution of marriage.
My article from 2010 on Why India should legalize gay marriage.
