No country for single men
The thought of moving to a new house pops into my mind now and then. But I try not to get lured by the thoughts. Partly because I hate to go through the ‘house hunting’ episode.
Marital status plays an important role in finding the perfect house. Most of the rental ads exclude singles from contacting them — family only. I would jokingly tell my friends, ‘I am family and I am the only member in my family’. Nevertheless, it is as much annoying as it is when a distant relative enquires about my marriage in a funeral.
The reasons stated varies from, ‘Bachelors won’t keep their house clean’ to ‘They make lots of noise’. For one, I find the term ‘bachelor’ offensive. Culturally, in India it carries a lot of negative meaning. I find it offensive as much as ‘spinster’ was. Ironically spinster has become an acceptable term now. Thanks to the feminist movements. The term bachelor is entering into the big bad book of offensive terms.
House brokers treat ‘families’ differently from ‘bachelors’. If they ask, ‘Are you bachelor?’, it holds a hidden message. A bachelor does not need a house which is nothing more than a single room; mind it no kitchen, no hall et al. A bachelor does not mind about the surrounding, all he needs is a room to stash his suitcase and dump his smelly socks.
It is difficult to make them understand that I am single and I need a two bed room house with a car parking. Not to mention the weird looks I get when I state this. It’s really hard to explain the single people do have life.
‘Sir, why do you need a big house? You are staying alone right?’ — Oh yes, when I have visitors I let them sleep on the road.
‘Car parking? You won’t get one sir, even families won’t get a house with car parking.’- Please take my car, I am single and I can fly!
Even if one passes through these brokers, the big encounter is yet to happen — The house owners.
Being ‘The house owner’ entitles them with all the power in the universe. They can ask all questions and can still refuse to rent the house.
‘Why are you not married yet?’ — Because no one is ready to entertain a bachelor.
‘Will you return late at night?’ — Nah, I don’t venture out after sun set. My granny has warned me about the big bad wolf.
‘How much do you earn?’ — Enough money to pay rent for your over priced house.
‘No one must visit you’ — Oh yes, praise The Lord. I am walking into a convent.
The worst of all happened when an engaged friend of mine was asked to show his ‘engagement certificate’ by the house owner. Mind it, he clearly stated that he needs the house because he is getting married and would move in after marriage. And where In India do one registers their engagement?
The woes does not end with house hunting. It follows even after moving into the house. Constantly watching neighbors. Being the talk of the flats/block for the first few weeks. A list of who visits is made and promptly questioned. If lucky, the hostility reduces or disappears with time, if not — time to move on or just live in the hell. Because this is no country for single men!
