AWAKENING / SPIRITUAL AWAKENING / SPIRITUAL GROWTH
Awaken ‘ME’ From The Deep Slumber
Rising from the depths of my soul (“I Am Awake” — Writing Contest at BUHUB)
Awakening is about liberating yourself from the prison that is the world of the mind, and daring to be here as all that you are.
~Leonard Jacobson
I was like a messy, tangled thread-ball
When did I begin my awakening?
Where should I start?
There were so many sad memories, so many sorrows, so many broken dreams, so many disappointments, so many dark histories…
Sadness, disappointment, gloom, and melancholy were my close allies…
As if I was hand-tied, watching people around me savoring my wishes for decades, right before my eyes…
Everyone was living my dream, except me…
It was like a knife, killing me softly and slowly…
Am I the cursed one, being the only loner in my world?
When were my paused moments?
Were there any sunny days in my past?
Yes, but they were as fleeting as the meteorite.
Now thinking deeper, I think my truly awakening moment would be my mom’s tragic passing from COVID-19…
It made me pause…
It taught me about human nature, the bad and the good,
It unraveled my blind spot,
Which had hidden so well, deep inside the closet.
Second, was my twin-flame,
The intensely painful love experience,
He forced me to see the side of me that I’d been refused to look at,
I saw myself through him,
Only then did I realize how annoying some of my traits were.
My awakening moments
Everything became so clear, crystal clear,
All my ‘whys’ about the world answered,
How could I not see it for the past few decades?
How could I be so blind?
Who blindfolded me?
When the student is ready, the teacher will appear
I’ve never comprehended this so well now,
I thought I knew and understood,
But I wasn’t, how naive I had been!
I burst into tears!
A cry deep from my heart,
Like never before…
What messages did the universe send to me?
I saw the white flashing light on my forehead,
I was told this is the Third Eye opening,
I saw different colors of flashing lights,
Purple, golden, white.
I saw synchronicity,
I saw repeated angel numbers,
111, 1111, 444, 555, 666, etc.,
Throughout the past 4 years,
Which I never noticed at all before this,
I’ve awakened.
I’m ready to play this game of life,
Everything happens FOR me, not TO me
To wake me up from a deep sleep.
How did I first realize about awakening?
When I was devouring my sorrows,
I stumbled upon astrology and tarot readings on YouTube,
Strangely, they described my story so precisely!
It piqued my interest,
The more I delved in, the more precise they became,
It shocked me to disbelief!
They became my free healing therapists,
They helped me strip off my layer of sorrow,
Layer by layer, like peeling an onion,
They pointed out my blind spots.
They were a godsend!
Where did it lead me?
It led me to metaphysics subjects,
Energy, the law of attraction, spirituality, philosophy,
All the unseen stuff,
But they are powerful stuff!
I needed scientific proof to convince myself,
Then came psychology, neuroscience,
Reading became my closest companion,
Knowing how our brains work,
Discovering human psychology,
It let me gain more clarity,
Scientifically and metaphysically,
Life is such — know the rules and play it ‘right’,
Let go of all the bruised past and start ‘living’.
Let go and let God
What have I learned?
- Self-awareness
To me, self-awareness is the ’mother’ to awakening. Knowing how humans, the world, and the universe operate is important to live a fulfilling life.
Self-awareness covers a wide scope, such as your personality, your strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, emotions, beliefs, values, etc. It means you are aware of yourself as a whole.
It means you understand yourself.
You can sense how people perceive you, and how your action affects others.
2. Emotional Intelligence
Another important aspect is emotional intelligence.
It took me quite a while to master my emotions, freeing myself from the grip of the ‘emotional monster’.
Having the willpower to overcome the emotional hurdle is no small task for me. I was born with low emotional intelligence. I’ve proved that I can increase my emotional intelligence to turn my life around.
My emotions became much more stable.
I’ll be aware of my negative emotions when it comes to visiting me, occasionally.
I’ll say, “Oh, you’re here. Let’s have tea then you can go.”
Invite your demons in for tea. ~Ram Dass
3. Astrology and tarot card readings
Some people may frown at astrology or tarot readings. I’m not saying letting them decide my future.
We all have free will.
But it did shine a light on my blind spots and help raise my awareness about myself, and of what energy is going on in my life. So that I can deal with it more consciously.
It alerts me of what may come my way so that I can be more cautious or more attentive to grab the opportunity.
It serves as a compass, but it’s up to me to decide my next course of action. It helps me to flow with life rather than against it.
Flow with your fate, all trouble will be gone by itself
~ From a 106-year-old academician
Parting words
I think everyone will have a different path of awakening and story. But this is my story which liberated me and I hope it can help those who need it in some ways!
Stay blessed!
