I Thought I’d Lost Him.
I started doubting
I only saw the flaws.
Will it work?
Will it fail?
I despaired.
I feared.
I changed course
The love in his eyes.
His warm embrace
His caring words
His kindness.
The way he showers me with affection
Genuinely.
The way my heart roars at the thought of his essence.
Something is there
Fear in the way
Doubt
I thought I had lost myself in the quest for his love
Yet I’d already received it.
It’s already here.
It was already found.
The illusion of the mission faded away
And I realized I was already at my destination.
Unconditional acceptance and peaceful existence with another human being.
The foundation for my new life.
I had found my base once more.
He mirrors my love as I give it.
He mirrors my soul and shows me where I’m at.
He’s my soul checker.
My challenge introducer.
He’s perfect as he is, with all his flaws.
As I am, with mine.
In this moment
In time.
I lost my way on a journey to find what I already had.
I simply had to remove my blinders
See what is
And give what I have
And now we flourish, and overcome
Together.
I have conquered the fear of feeling good and opened myself up to unconditional love and support.
I thought I had to do something in order to receive love but I simply had to be, me.
Everything is so simple in the end.
Or is it the beginning?
It only feels like I’ve just gotten started.
The more I appreciate, the more he gives. The more I receive.
He’s my gratitude practice. He’s my soul evolver. He challenges my spirit whether he intends to or not, and I love it.
All the difficulties blossom into sturdy foundations when discussed. When talked about. When shared, openly. When received, lovingly. Trust is built and the bond is strengthened. A healthy cycle is in motion. The greatest upward spiral I’ve taken part in so far.
Yet the doubt lingers.
Can it feel this good?
Can it be this easy?
This simple?
Will I truly be content with such simplicity?
Yes, I will. Because my gut knows and my heart loves, and so it is.
Vulnerability and openness,; honesty are the greatest building blocks available to mankind. Because they take courage. And anything involving courage is forcing you to evolve. Anything fragile received with love mends the wounded heart. Two wounded hearts mending together is the most precious thing one could experience.
Breathing feels easier. The soul, lighter. The bond, tightened.
I know I am here for something even greater. Yet I know, this is my base. And I feel found again. I’ve re-found my strength, my tenacity, my trust in life. My faith. I know things will work out the way they are supposed to. I failed for a reason. To strengthen my love for self even further. Unbreakable. And now, I can truly love another person and receive it back in a magical ping-pong, and it’s the most calming transaction I’ve had the blessing to take part in so far.
Thank you, life for challenging me like nothing else. I am ready to receive. I am ready to sit back, relax, enjoy and dive into my mission when the time is right.
I am ready to drop chaos and receive peace.
I am ready.
xo.
