The Three Most Important Phrases To Use To Change Your Life:
“I Love You, I Bless You, I Thank You”
I’m reading a wonderful book by scientist and spiritual philosopher, Greg Braden, called The Divine Matrix and something he wrote inspired a train of thought that’s long been gestating (for want of a better word!) in my mind.
Braden wrote that the Divine Matrix — or God or Source or The Creator of All That Is — is like a mirror where our thoughts, judgments and beliefs create the patterns in our life and in the world around us. This supports what many of the ancient and magickal Wiccan texts have seen saying for centuries: “As Within, so Without” or “As Above, So Below”.
He then went on to describe how three people came into his life in quick succession who stole his money and tried to ruin his business. He then posed the following question to himself: Are these people and situations showing me myself in this moment?
A sobering thought indeed.
After some soul searching, he realised that, while these traumatic events did not reflect the fact that he was dishonest or cruel, they did, however, reflect judgements he had made about others in the past.
Braden engaged in further self-reflection and discovered a way out of his suffering. I’ll quote it because Braden says it best in his own words:
“Blessing is the ancient secret that releases us from life’s suffering long enough to replace it with another feeling. When we bless the people or things that have hurt us, we’re temporarily suspending the cycle of pain… during the blessing, a doorway opens for us to begin our healing and move on with life.”
So, how can we apply Braden’s valuable lesson to our own lives?
When we don’t like what we see in our experience, chances are our thoughts, our judgements and our preconceptions have created this world of suffering and pain.
But when challenges, difficult people, or painful situations arise in our own lives, we have a choice.
We can choose to weep, gnash our teeth and wear sackcloth and ashes. We can react with judgement like “It’s All Their Fault!”, or negativity like “Why Does This Always Happen To Me?” and keep the cycle going.
Or we can try something different.
What if we choose instead to say “I Love You, I Bless You, I Thank You”?
This might sound ridiculous at first. I mean, why should we love, bless and thank a person or situation that’s harmed us, when a good smack about the chops feels more satisfying (in the moment anyway)?
In a nutshell, here’s why choosing to say these three phrases is a better choice:
By consciously choosing to Love, Bless and Thank, we are shifting our vibrational frequency to a higher state. And in doing so, we alter our ‘reflection’ in the Divine Matrix for the better.
It’s a bit like adjusting the lens through which we view the world. When we make even the smallest effort to see things differently with love, blessings and thanks, we will automatically see and experience a new reality that’s more aligned with love, compassion, and gratitude.
The Observer Effect
Quantum physics has a name for this. It’s called The Observer Effect.
Simply put, The Observer Effect is a phenomenon where the mere act of observing something can change its behaviour. Particles can exist in multiple states at once but when we try to measure or observe these particle, they ‘choose’ a specific state. It’s as if our attention and presence actually influences the particles’ behaviour.
From a spiritual perspective then, it makes sense that our personal world is a reflection of how we observe it. Just as our observation can influence the behaviour of particles, our thoughts, emotions and perceptions shape our realities.
If we focus on love, blessing and gratitude, we tend to attract and create a world that reflects these positive attributes.
There’s another reason I love using these three transformative phrases: They reinforce the spiritual principles I hold dear and try to live by.
Honouring the Divine in All
By using these phrases we are recognising the sacred essence of the Divine in all Beings — animate and inanimate — which encourages a sense of oneness with everything around us.
The Power of Forgiveness
Saying these phrases opens the door for forgiveness of people and situations that have hurt us.
Remember, forgiving is not about giving people a free pass to hurt us again, but to rid ourselves from the heavy burdens of hurt, anger and pain. When these burdens leave us, a space or vacuum is created. By saying these words, we are choosing to fill that space with love and healing rather than rage and hurt.
Saying these words in your head also allows you to release the energetic bonds that keep you tied to past hurts. It’s a bit like using a magic sword to sever the ties to those things that no longer serve you.
Self-Love and Acceptance
Don’t forget to say these three phrases to yourself. You deserve them!
I try to say them at least three times daily. Saying to yourself, I Love You, I Bless You, I Thank You, acknowledges your own divine nature and nurtures love and compassion for Self.
Being Present
When you are actively loving, blessing and thanking everything around you — be it people, animals, birds, trees, oceans, buildings… anything at all — you have to be present in the moment.
That’s another reason I love this practice. It encourages us to remain aware of what is around us and monitor our run-away thoughts so we can focus on and appreciate the beautiful things that surround us that we often take for granted.
The Gratitude Connection
Gratitude is woven throughout this practice, particularly in the “I Thank You” component.
It might sound counterproductive to say I Thank You to a person who has badly hurt us. But have we not learned an important lesson from this person? Thanking this person or situation for what we have learned is very empowering.
Most importantly, the Divine Matrix or The Universe will reflect this attitude of thankfulness and send you more blessings and more things to be grateful for.
The Process
So, how do we do this and how can we apply it in everyday life?
Here’s how:
- Identify a challenging situation or person
- Take a deep breath and ground yourself
- Silently say to the situation or person: “I Love You” (acknowledging the divine spark within); “I Bless You” (offering goodwill and positive energy); “I Thank You” (expressing gratitude for the growth opportunity and the lesson learned)
- Repeat as needed
Simple things like somebody cutting you off in traffic usually only requires this once. It’s amazing how quickly you will move on and not stew about it!
More complex situations will require more repeats, especially when you are triggered by memories.
I’m not saying it’s easy, but it is straightforward and it does work if you’re prepared to open your heart and you really want to create a new space to allow healing in. It’s like the Universe is patting you on the back and saying Well done! Now, let me help you move past this.
Spiritual Bypassing?
I realise that some may see this practice as an example of spiritual bypassing — or its more odious cousin, toxic positivity.
But I beg to differ.
This practice doesn’t deny negative emotions.
Instead, it provides a tool for processing and transmuting them. We acknowledge the pain, but choose not to dwell on it. Once you have said it, hand it back to God knowing that All That Is knows what to do and will help heal you.
I love this practice because it offers a practical, powerful tool for navigating life’s challenges while also deepening our spiritual connection and helping the world. By choosing to bless, we not only transform our own personal immediate experience, but also contribute to the healing of the collective consciousness.
As my very dear friend and spiritual advisor, Dagobert, says so wisely:
“Every blessing sent out returns threefold, rippling through the Divine Matrix and touching hearts unknown.”
